The perfection in true love

Take another person’s love for you for granted, don’t constantly doubt it, simply feel it

Published: 30th October 2013 08:10 AM  |   Last Updated: 30th October 2013 08:10 AM   |  A+A-


Desire is trying to hold on to air in a fist. How much air can you hold in the fist? The more you tighten your grip, the lesser air you can hold. Love is like the vast sky and the sky cannot be held in the fist. You have to open your palm. That is nirodha - when you open your palm, the entire sky is in there and if you hold a mirror in your hand, you can have the sun, the moon - everything. A small palm can hold the sun, but not the fist - nirodha rupatvat.

being centred, being 100% in activity and rest. This is the way to be in Divine love.

Tasmin ananyata tad virodhishu udasinta cha

Often love is thought to be between two - one and the other. When there is another, you don’t feel totally one with the person. You always question and doubt the other person’s love for you. If you doubt whether the other person really loves you or not, you will be unable to love them unconditionally, unable to merge with them. Certain things you have to take for granted. One thing is the love of the other person from whom you want love. You have to take it for granted. Even if the love is not there, you must feel that it is there.

Tasmin ananyata - means feeling totally one with the other. That is Divine love. Be  indifferent to anything that appears to be opposing it. It might happen that you are in love with God, and sometimes things happen that don’t seem to show that God is really in love with you. But ignore those things. A saint was once spreading the message of God in villages. One rainy day he came back home and found that most of the roof of his little hut lay broken in the rain. His disciple got very angry and blamed God for being so cruel. “We have been working so hard for you and you couldn’t even save one roof for us!” he complained. On the other hand, the saint was so thankful, “Oh God, you are so kind, you saved half the hut so that our heads don’t get wet. In this big storm the whole house could have been destroyed. Now we can also see the stars and the moon.”

Tasmin ananyata tadvirodheshu udasinta cha - whatever appears to be opposing love, you just be indifferent to it. Otherwise it is very easy to get drawn into the opposite values of love, hatred, anger, jealousy and frustration.

If you want to be centred in love, you have to drop anything that appears to be opposing love, otherwise you will be caught up in the cycle of opposites and you will never be free, you can never achieve that perfection. You are born to be perfect - siddho bhavati and the perfection is not in action or speech, perfection is in the Being. The perfection in the Being alone can bring perfection in speech and action; and to be perfect in the Being, you need to immerse yourself in that intense love. What is ananyata bhakti? How does one feel this sense of ‘no other’?

Anyashrayanam tyago ananyata

Often you have so many other supports, for e.g. you are on a spiritual path and you go to an astrologer and ask if you will make progress? What will happen? You are taking another support. Letting go of all the supports is anyashrayanam.

Niradhar - that is dropping the crutches - and the mind is looking for crutches. It is looking for some anchor here and there, for e.g., if you feel negative, you go and talk to someone. If anyone supports your negativity, you start feeling better. If someone shuns your negative statement, it irritates you.

Excerpts from the book An Intimate Note to the Sincere Seeker by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

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