All of us are chasing after success. People spend their entire lives running after it, preparing for it, desiring it but success eludes many of us. We have a preconceived idea that money, fame and power constitute success. So we spend our lives pining for either or all of them. Success somehow has come to be defined by the number of things you have — cars, houses, foreign trips made, gadgets and more.
Our inability to get them often generates negative feelings in our hearts. We are consumed with envy or begin to think less of our own capabilities, thus inviting anger, depression and unhappiness into our lives. This leads to more complicated problems later on in life, leading people to take drastic measures, like even committing suicide.
But one problem that I see with this whole rigmarole of defining success is that I may not define success in the terms that it has been defined till now. You can ask yourself the same question. Do you define success the way it has been defined for you by others?
What is the correct way to define success, you may then ask? Well, success to me is a personal thing. It holds a separate meaning for every individual, I would say. As a mother of a six-year-old, success for me could mean the ability to send my daughter neatly dressed and well in time to school. I would like to be adored by my daughter and I know how she hates to be late for school or not being impeccably turned out, so I devote time and energy to see to it that she is perfectly dressed and never late for school. Every time I am able to do that successfully, I know I will be hugged and that’s my reward and motivation. Believe me, this is not half as easy to do as it sounds.
What is it that you want? Do you want to top the examination or be best at a sport or play a musical instrument like a pro? What is your motivation for being successful? To define success for your own self you have to look at the areas that matter to you. Some people may choose to define success by monetary gains or by materialistic achievements but these would only set one up for disappointments because in life you can’t always win.
Success should rather be defined as doing something that makes you happy. It should be defined as doing something where the ‘doing’ part brings you joy. Your work may or may not be about defining how successful you are. Are you happy with what you do? Or do you find it cumbersome? Is it taking a toll on you? Is the way you are leading your life at the moment the way you had envisioned it? Is this what you want and deserve?
If your answers are ‘no’, ‘yes’, ‘yes’, ‘no’ and ‘no’ then maybe something is not right with how you are defining success. Maybe you need to sit back and analyse it. Maybe it is an indication that you need to take a re-look at things and redefine success for yourself.
Success should not be giving you sleepless nights instead it should bring you peace of mind and a sound sleep. Success should make you like the person you become in the endeavour of getting it.
Readers, if you have questions related to your life or life skills send a mail to Aanandika Sood and she will certainly have a response for you.