Like the vice of complaining discussed earlier, it is easy to fall into the habit of condemning others, even those we love most. We criticise the way someone eats or the manner in which she speaks. We focus on the most minute details and find fault with the smallest of issues. But what we focus on grows. And if we keep focusing on a small weakness in someone, it will continue to grow in our minds until we perceive it to be a big problem in that person.
Would you really want to live in a world where everyone looked, acted and thought exactly as you do? It would be a pretty boring place.
To live a happier, more peaceful life, begin to see that the richness of our society comes from its diversity. What makes relationships, communities and countries great are not the things that we have in common but the differences that make us unique. Rather than looking for things to criticise in those around you, why not begin to respect the differences?
Often, we perceive in others the weakness we most need to address within ourselves. Stop blaming and condemning. Accept complete responsibility for the way things are and resolve to work and changing yourself before seeking to change others.
This is one of the truest measures of a person of strong character. As Erica Jong said, “Take your life into your hands and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame.”
Excerpt from Who WIll Cry When You Die by Robin Sharma. www.robinsharma.com