“Chee ya, Bengaluru sucks yaaaa.”
“There’s no good pubs in Calcutta yeah.”
“Bro the girls in Chennai, no scenes bro.”
“Goa duuuuuude.” Same guy after the trip: “Dude Goa was weird this time man...”
Any of the above sound familiar? We all have those friends that no matter what city they’re currently in, love to talk about the others. They discuss where they’re from. Where they plan to go.
Sometimes even, they stop and realize it might help to actually talk about where they are. I hate when people whine about a place. I used to do it. I mean, I’m sure I still do once in a while. But I’d like it to stop. Ever heard the term “Did the people make the place, or did the place make the people?”
If you’re in a place like Bengaluru for example, you’re around 4 million people. I’m not going to try and assume how many of those are like minded people of yourself, but I do know a bunch of people who crib about Bangalore.
“The stuff shuts early. The traffic. The guys aren’t cute. The girls only hang out in groups, you can’t chat with them in a bar.”
Oh I’m sorry, Brad Pitt. Were you the Wolf of Wall street at all those pubs in Delhi and Mumbai?
Please cut the crap.
People blame location because it’s easier than blaming themselves.
If you’re one of Bengaluru’s 4 million, you’re in a city bigger than Chicago. Seattle. Los Angeles.
You are around techies. Smart men and women. Artists. Entrepreneurs. Musicians. You have gyms, eateries, clubs, bars, malls, theaters. Whatever. Anybody who is available in those big cities you seem to yearn for, they’re also right next to you as you crib in that Starbucks.
I know it’s hard to make friends and even harder to find romance, especially when you’re searching for it. But step one might just be admitting, it’s not the location. Where you live might matter for real estate, but unless you’re in North Korea I don’t think it affects your chances of improving your social happiness. If you do continue to think that way, when you get to New York and have all that money to blow, a magical brand new life is not going to just fall from the sky. You’ll find something else to crib about.
If you had a more enjoyable experience in another city in the past, also try and remember why you did. You probably had some college friends who lived there. Some family as a safe base to have lunch with Sunday’s. Life has a funny way of going in cycles, and you will continue to evolve and meet newer people, and form even deeper connections. So don’t hold on to the past. Don’t limit yourself.
Don’t complain about the city.
Improve the person living in it.