BENGALURU: Just two weeks to the end of the year people! Time to find that piece of toilet paper you hurriedly wrote 2018’s resolutions on, and see if it’s not too late to make them happen! Here’s a look at some of the ridiculous promises I made myself on January 1, 2018.
1. Document every day
For some stupid reason I told myself that in 2018 I would take a photo of both my kids every single day. Why did I do this? So that twenty years from now I could make an amazing time-lapse video where I showed their growing years in 60 seconds set to upbeat but nostalgic music that tugged at the viewer’s heartstrings? Now, as I scroll through my online photo album of the year, I realise that I have taken all of 50 photographs of my children. Interestingly, there are more selfies of my chin hair. I have two options here: try and take 315 photos of my boys in the next three weeks OR draw eyes and a mouth on the chin photos and pass them off as pictures of my kids. I think we all know what I’m going to do.
2. Be Martha Stewart
So, I‘m guessing I confused the sensation of being hungover with feeling like 2018 was the year I should bake more with the kids. Haven’t you ever misconstrued emotions after one G&T too many? Now, this one we actually did do. We baked our butts off. And guess what? Baked butts might have tasted better than some of the disasters that came out of our oven. I want to say that my kids learned some important life skills from these sessions like, don’t ask your mother to bake cookies for the Teacher’s Day party. And she’s lying when she says that that’s what real chocolate chip cookies look like.
3. Don’t sweat the small stuff
In the grand scheme of things, what’s a few misplaced assignments? What’s another lost water bottle? Don’t let those skid marks on underwear drive you insane. Isn’t love all that matters? No. It’s not.
4. Be more present in the moment
You know this sounds like a great idea, but what if the present moment is washing aforementioned skid marks out of underwear? Or wondering if a dab of mayonnaise counts as a snack because that’s all there is in your fridge? What if the present moment is doing laundry or filling out the most mind-numbing report in the world? Don’t do it. Escape to the fantasy of Huge Jackman (that wasn’t a typo) and you.
5. Word of the year: Hope
In addition to the above deranged list of resolutions, I felt that what my life really needed in 2018 was a word that be the guiding mix of vowels and consonants of the year. And I chose HOPE. Well, I think we can safely say that the word that best sums up how I felt this year was RAGE. And you know, it wasn’t a bad thing. Rage when fed, petted and nourished is such a wonderful thing. Don’t let go of your anger. Feed it!
So, how’s your list of jumbled promises on tp looking?