BENGALURU: There’s nothing like the last week of December to feel like a complete and utter failure as a human being. All those listicles of the movies, books, bands, holiday destinations and colonic irrigation therapies I should have had the good taste to have watched, read, listened to, visited and endured.
I suppose I should view these lists with more kindness. After all, instead of feeling uncultured, boring and stupid at soirees I could use them as a ready made road map to dinner party conversations. The ones that invariably come to a juddering halt when people ask me ‘You work from home or do housework?’
In order to share the feeling of inferiority that I experience when faced with such listicles, I too have created one that will make parents hang their heads in shame. Read on.
Here are my top parenting non-news events that were newsworthy in 2018.
Baby paparazzi shots
If Instagram is to be believed, this year, we forgave Taimur for his name and embraced him and his clique of small people. We now care as much about them as we do about what their mothers wore to the gym and the airport.
Using your kids to start a college fund
Cute children saying precocious things scripted by their parents and being adorable is now a commodity you can flog. If successful, children can make enough money to pay their own way through college. Unless their parents drink their way through that nest egg which is totally what I’d do.
Are non-parents happier than parents?
When people ask me if I think they should have children, I offer to let them keep mine for two weeks and then decide. I now offer to throw the dog in for free. No one’s taken me up on the offer but I’m pretty sure if anyone did they would skip having kids and get a dog instead.