When ‘aww’ing couples, are you guilty of agesism?

There is something awfully nice about seeing two old people in quiet companionship. It must take an enormous amount of cynicism for anyone to not feel tender at that.

BENGALURU : There is something awfully nice about seeing two old people in quiet companionship. When you see an aged couple just gently holding hands as they help each other cross a road, or sit with each other in a park bench – reading or quietly nodding away, it really is hard to not go ‘aww’. It must take an enormous amount of cynicism for anyone to not feel tender at that.Quite similarly, when you see a young couple blushing and excited, again there is so much of an ‘aww’ moment. Think two college mates flirting with each other. Or that young couple making eyes at each other from bus-stops across the road, letting many buses go by just to see each other some more. Or any number of other such moments gloriously captured in everything from Shakespeare’s plays to Karan Johar’s movies. 

Now, why is it that all these ‘aww’ moments are reserved for either the fresh young faces, or the so very aged couples? Where are these special moments for the every day regular couple? 
Sure, there may be the odd times here and there where some odd couple might get that reaction, but if you really think about it, you would quite agree that the most heartfelt ‘aww’ reactions are really not for the regular couples going about their everyday life, stealing moments of romance from the hustle and bustle of their busy lives. 

An old couple? They don’t need to do anything beyond sitting in a park bench to get that reaction. A set of young teenagers just need to look at each other and blush. But a couple in their 30s or 40s? They need to be doing something really extraordinarily romantic or loving to get that kind of reaction. And even then, their efforts may not quite get the result they expect. Imagine a specially choreographed ‘Marry Me!’ moment playing out at your favourite restaurant or a flash-mob of middle-aged people getting into a nicely rehearsed Glee club type of a dance to a current favourite right there at the metro station. Are people more likely to be rolling their eyes and passing snide comments of ‘Cheesy!’ If people see a couple of 40-year-olds hugging a bit too closely, would they smile at how sweet they look or would they snigger and shout to them to get a room?

I would bet more the latter.  
Are we guilty of some sort of ageism here? A bell-curve of age related prejudice seems to be at play, where either ends of the spectrum are celebrated but the huge majority bulging right there in the middle – they are just ignored. Their romance gets only met with derisive snorts, even by each other.  The so-called ‘normal’ distribution is hurtful. Even companies with their performance appraisal systems are abandoning the bell curve. Shouldn’t we then be reclaiming the ‘aww’ moments for all sorts of love and romance for people of all ages?The author is a counselor at InnerSight

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