Aadhaar’s story is not very different from Frankenstein’s

The Supreme Court’s judgment on the reach and extent of Aadhaar’s validity recently, was a breath of fresh air.
A secure system that would use your information, combine it with your thumbprint, iris scan, heartbeat and sins in your past life.
A secure system that would use your information, combine it with your thumbprint, iris scan, heartbeat and sins in your past life.

BENGALURU: The Supreme Court’s judgment on the reach and extent of Aadhaar’s validity recently, was a breath of fresh air. To use a sporting term, the Supreme Court has been in ‘good form’ in the last few weeks. There was the striking down of the draconian Sec 377 last week. And now, the Court liberated us from the fear of the Aadhaar monster.

The Aadhaar card story is not very different to that of Frankenstein. It was created to help us. We were told that it would unite the country under one database, and protect us from evil terrorists. That it would make the corrupt elite more accountable, that India would achieve stability, security, inner peace and Moksha, while we’re at it.

There was the mystical nature of biometrics too. We would move to a new system. A secure system that would use your information, combine it with your thumbprint, iris scan, heartbeat and sins in your past life. Of course, how such a scheme would be implemented for 1.6 billion people was never discussed. There were no explanations given, while mass hysteria was being fed.

In 32 years of existence, Yours Truly has steered clear of many such mass hysterias. The first real mass hysteria I remember was of Ganesha drinking milk. Millions of Ganesha idols were fed spoonfuls of milk and we were told that the Lord of Knowledge was drinking milk from his ardent devotees. As a student, I did not want to anger the Lord of Knowledge so I played along anyway.

Then there was the rumour that one could see Sai Baba’s face on the moon. I stared at the moon, and having been a media student, could tell that the photos being circulated were photoshopped. There was also the Y2K hysteria. We were told that computers would come to a standstill, life as we know it would end because software engineers had forgotten to add the year 2,000 in the DD/MM/YY format on computer systems. January 1, 2000, arrived, and I found our hostel accountant happily working on his computer, reminding me to pay my long-pending fees.

The Aadhaar mass hysteria wasn’t very different. It began innocuously — Could you please give us your Aadhaar details? But without much notice, it slipped into — You better give us your Aadhaar details! It began with money wallet apps, and slowly spread its tentacles to every aspect on my life.
I have two bank accounts — one with State Bank that was given to me by the government — and another with a private bank after I started working. The private account was used for my daily activities, whereas the other was kept as a savings account. State Bank, which had been a friend to me for long, suddenly began to get aggressive with me.

I kept myself abreast of the happenings on the Aadhaar front, reading about the pros and cons of the system. But I finally caved when asked to link Aadhaar to my bank account, or my accounts would be seized. It sounded preposterous, but I had had similar feelings about demonetisation too!

It was my hard-earned money. Money earned by writing articles for newspapers, magazines, websites, children’s journals, and brain-dead corporate websites. It was money earned through my standup comedy - by standing in front of drunk businessmen and peddling my jokes. It was my hard-earned money, and I really had no option.

The Supreme Court hearing is a welcome change. In a strange way, I feel like a free man now. A man earning money honestly and trying to hustle in this constant enigma called life. That I can sip on my chai and puff on my cigarettes, without feeling like an international sleuth who’s trying to stay undercover in an alien country.

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