‘Vasu! Vasuuu! Show Dido’s mommy how you can count to ten’

Vasu is not interested in showing off his mathematical prowess.

Published: 16th January 2019 01:24 AM  |   Last Updated: 16th January 2019 01:42 AM   |  A+A-

Express News Service

BENGALURU: Vasu is not interested in showing off his mathematical prowess. Vasu would rather sniff Dido’s butt. Vasu’s mommy looks distressed by this lack of interest, but she is not someone to give up.
“Oooooone. Twoooooo. Threeeeee. Come on! Who is a good boy now? Count for Mommy!”
Vasu, blissfully unaware of the shame he is subjecting his mother to, is now chasing his own tail and barking at it.

Vasu’s mother makes a last ditch attempt to redeem Vasu.
“You know, he can count to ten. My husband thinks we should change his name to Ramanujam.”
Dido’s mother ignores this poor attempt at a joke and picks up the threads of their conversation, before Vasu’s mother butted in and tried to show off.
“Like I was saying, Dido is so musically gifted. When my son plays Chopin’s nocturnes, she just has to join in. We are thinking they should have their own YouTube channel: Dido and Dan.”
“Dido and Dodo?”

“Dido and Dan!” Dido’s mother snarls, before marching her child to the gates of the park.  
Hipster Suki enters with her father. “How was your weekend? Ours was so serene! We were at a special yoga retreat,” whispers Suki’s father.
Vasu’s mother rolls her eyes and says it was a mild seizure. She tries to get Vasu to leave, but he is now growling at his own shadow.

“Look! Suki learned downward dog at the retreat! Get it? Downward DOG?” Vasu’s mother wishes a real seizure would take hold of her brain, but instead nods and makes the mandatory cooing noises.
From across the street, Phoebe and her mother walk by and the latter waves.
“We’d love to come in! But all those ticks in there. Phoebe can’t afford to miss her enrichment classes,” Phoebe’s mother trills.

Vasu and Suki are eyed by each other’s parents wearily. Phones buzz and the grown-ups both reach into their pockets. It’s the Paws ‘R’ Us WhatsApp group.
Titus’s Dad: Titu completed a 5 km run today in 42 minutes! Download K-9 fitness and training app now and share your pup’s fitness journey.
Roja’s Mom: Thumbs up!
Snowy the Lab: Wow!

Suki’s dad is tempted to type Show off, but instead snorts and types Wow!
“So annoying, right?” asks Vasu’s mother as she types in ‘Fit doggies unite!’ “I swear. So what their dog can run 5km? Can Titus do an unsupported handstand?”
“Of course he can’t. Can he count to ten and identify prime numbers? No!”
“Vasu can identify prime numbers?” “He barks whenever we say three, five and seven.” Suki’s father rolls his eyes and says it’s a facial tic.

“I don’t know what they’re trying to prove. They should just let their dogs be dogs,” he says. Vasu’s mother agrees. Suki and her father are now alone in the park. A cat enters.
“Look Sukiii. A caaaat. Cat! Cat! Cat!”
Cat: Dog owners are definitely more stupid than dogs.

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