The 'Relieve' Motorist

Published: 18th July 2015 01:57 AM  |   Last Updated: 18th July 2015 01:57 AM   |  A+A-

Recently, passers by on the Mount Poonamallee Road witnessed the  miraculous survival of a motorcyclist when his speeding bike climbed on a heap of mud on the side of the road. As he was thrown into the air several feet high, a few men present rushed to the spot. His head, covered with an helmet, had landed exactly on a huge stone and he was lying motionless. When a local tried to remove the helmet, it broke into two pieces. Uncertain about the fate of the man, they slowly woke him up. There was a sense of relief when the man opened his eyes. It was evident that he was heavily drunk. The men asked him if he was alright and if they needed to inform his family. It was amusing for them  to see the man suddenly getting up and run. He went to a corner, and  quickly unzipped his pant and started urinating, as though nothing serious had happened. Indeed, liquor keeps some merry come what may.

Mangroves and Mangoes

The head of a government educational institution, who was invited to a recent international conference on mangroves, left the audience in amusement, when his entire speech was on the mistaken notion that mangroves actually meant mango trees. The conference was on mangroves and climate change. Initially, confessing that he didn’t not know much about the topic, the speaker went on to explain how there was abundant water and hence a lot of mango trees in the village he grew up. He went on to say that now due to climate change and scarcity of water, there were not many mango trees grown these days. The reporters were able to have a hearty laugh only after they got out of the hall. But the international research scholars and other students were left bewildered.

Of Bad Speeches and Free Food

Bad speeches put us to sleep, pretty much most of us agree with that. Recently though, when attending a conference, this reporter discovered that bad speeches can actually keep one awake and even thoroughly entertained. When a popular chancellor of a chain of institutions took to stage last week, there wasn’t a soul in the room that could maintain a poker face. Not even this reporter, who has years of practice. With a complete disregard to tense, a careless abandon in case of singular-plural, this gentleman spoke a Morse code not even ‘hw r u, m f9’ specialists of short form can decipher. Hey, but he believes in free food.

So, What if You are From the Press?

Police enforcement of even the most important traffic rules can be disturbingly lax when it comes to certain sections of society — lawyers, politicians and in many cases, the press. Brandishing their status as members of the fourth estate to bully any policeman who attempts to stop them works, most times. It came as a refreshing surprise this week, however, when it didn’t. A reporter for a major publication, who narrated the story to this reporter, was stopped for not wearing a helmet. The reporter said that he was in a hurry and that he was the member of the press. However, the traffic policeman, quietly looked at the reporter, consulted with his colleague and then went ahead fining him, after impounding his documents. “You can get them back at the court sir and maybe you will write that we are doing our jobs, for once,” the reporter was told.

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