Not all Need to run the Rat race

It’s our differences that help us make a difference, says R A Nadesan, a life coach Parents need to understand that there are new professions that did not even exist 10 years ago

Published: 19th May 2016 04:56 AM  |   Last Updated: 19th May 2016 04:56 AM   |  A+A-

CHENNAI: TThe Class 12 results are out! There will be mixed reactions to this announcement; for some it will be a time for jubilation, while others may be distressed.

Failure can be extremely painful, a feeling of despondency creeps in; it hurts you even more when your friends are celebrating. But this too shall pass. Honestly it’s not that bad — failure is only success delayed not denied.

Let’s look at how you can overcome the feeling and go on to achieve much more.

When a student fails, parents are sometimes the most affected. For them, apart from the worry of the future of their child, there is the additional baggage of having to answer to friends and relatives, who become particularly nosey at times like this.

In this competitive age, even if a student has technically passed the examinations, not getting 80-90% could also cause problems. They may be denied good colleges and may have to compromise on their education. At this stage, parents need to relook at their own mindsets. The variety of jobs that are available today did not even exist 10 years ago. They can speak to professionals to understand the kind of careers that would be in demand in the future and get their child ready for that.

If a student is inclined towards music or sports, parents must encourage their kids to pursue them. Our abilities are different and we might not always fit into the mainstream, but that’s the beauty of it — our differences help us make a difference, and move forward and achieve success. Would you rather be a brilliant composer or an average engineer?

Both students and parents have to be pragmatic about this, without wallowing in self-pity. Let’s look at a few qualities that could help them overcome failure and put them on the fast track to success.

The first thing to understand is that your self-esteem should not be affected at any cost. Not passing an exam does not mean that you are not intelligent. Students pass exams not because of brilliance, but because of hard work, diligence and tenacity. In the absence of these, failure is imminent.

At this point, a root cause analysis would be appropriate. This will reveal where you went wrong and steps can be taken to correct it. It’s imperative that you sits with your teachers and parents and understand your strengths and weaknesses.

Optimism is the need of the moment. You should be confident you can do it, and at the same time, focus on your strengths and set your goals accordingly. Then comes stress management. Our coping skills have to be robust and strong — we need to manage stress levels without emotionally disintegrating. A good support system of family and friends is important.   Parents should be more understanding, as it’s tough on students. It’s important to show them that you are there for them — remember, success is only a few months away.

Tips for Students & Parents

  • Don’t lose your self-respect. Not passing or scoring high in an exam is not the only indicator of intelligence
  • Student can sit with teachers and parents and understand his strengths and weaknesses
  • They can speak to professionals to understand the kind of careers that would be in demand in the future
  • They need to let their children know that support will be given no matter what
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