CHENNAI: Its 10:30 am on a bright sunny weekday. As commuters speed to reach their destination, in one of the lanes of Virugambakkam, some women gather around a small flower stall. ‘Evalo mozham ma venum?’ (how many arm lengths do you want?) asks the seller in a gruff voice. As we proceed towards the stall, the seller Varnam, a transwoman in a colourful cotton sari sits in a corner. We envy her neatly tied hair bun and malli poo (jasmine) on her head, and we tell her that. She smiles, and narrates her story. “I was 13 when I realised I was born a man with the heart of a woman.
When I told my mother about this, she was shocked and asked me not to discuss this with anyone else,” recalls Varnam, as she arranges the flowers. She was thrown out of her house when she turned 18.
Varnam fought with her family for many years about the way she felt. “I left home but I didn’t feel bad. I was happy that I could be myself; however, that thought wasn’t longlasting. When I stepped out, I realised life wasn’t easy for women as well as transwomen. It was a fight for identity and also to live a dignified life,” she says.
From hearing lewd remarks to facing threats of physical harm, Varnam endured it all. “I did go to school for a brief period. After I left home, it was difficult to find a job. Then I met one ‘akka’ from the trans community and she gave me shelter for a while. After that I took odd-jobs, which again wasn’t easy to find. People hesitated to give me a job,” she narrates. Later, with the help of a few friends, she set up her own flower stand.
“I moved to different areas and I am extremely friendly. Though most people talk to me in a friendly manner, even today there are men and women who don’t look at me or treat me the right way. There is discrimination…but what can I do,” she rues and continues tying the flowers.
This is one of the many stories of discrimination that the trans community, especially transwomen, face in society.
Sankari, an activist at the NGO Nirangal has a similar story. She was disowned by her family and was also raped while in school, but today, she is one of the few transwomen who is an inspiration to many. Talking about what Women’s Day means to her, Sankari states, “Be it women or transwomen, until we don’t have the freedom to walk on the roads without hesitation – of being attacked, raped, molested, and groped… there is no reason to celebrate.”
Sankari admits that job opportunities for transwomen is still a dream. “When women themselves are not given proper jobs by the government, what can the trans community expect? Gender equality should be put forward as a primary concern. Yes, there are voices being raised….but how many are heard?” she points out.
Born a man and undergoing the changes to become a woman, Sankari tells us that they understand the pain of their independence and freedom being taken away after the change. “Till the society sees us as a man, we have many privileges, these are taken away after we are seen as a woman. For people who are born and raised as women, they may not realise this immediately as they are conditioned that way. But, for us, the change is drastic. We feel the difference of how the society treats men over women,” she explains.
Padmini Prakash, India’s first transgender news anchor, avers that providing quality education to people in the community can help. Recalling the time when she had to face rejection from tailors to get a blouse stitched, she says that embarrassments and sacrifices have always been part of her life.
Education, family, relationships, recognitions and job-opportunities — everything is a struggle every day for transwomen. And Narthaki Natraj knows it all too well. She says even the choice of falling in love is taken away from them. “Is love only meant for men and women? Why shouldn’t we be allowed to fall in love? And do you know what the worst part is? It’s when the person we love understands us, but rejects us because of societal pressure and identity crisis. It’s painful. There is a lot of discrimination,” she rues.