CHENNAI:
Akshayaa Selvaraj, 26
I believe in equality Being an artist, I have always tried to create women-oriented self-awareness art projects. But personally, I have never witnessed men reaching out for support and guidance. Being in a society where women have forever been waiting to be heard, the #MeToo movement has given the much-needed momentum in providing the right closure to be heard and supported.
When it comes to sexual harassment, the mental trauma and anxiety are the same for any gender, be it a male or female and/or transgender. Unfortunately, society has always shaped the terms of males as being strong and insensitive. But just like women, men are equally waiting to be heard. They are only suffering in silence because of the fear of being judged, called weak or mocked. I will always welcome and support survivors who talk to me about their experiences. I’m sure there are many stories waiting to be told. I believe in equality. Survivors, irrespective of their gender, should be given equal support.
Assault is assault
I won’t deny that the percentage of men being assaulted is way lesser than women. Talking about assaults, society should stop looking at it with a gender lens. There’s a perception that men usually enjoy sex all the time with any random person. This thought process should change. There are also men who are questioned about their masculinity when they talk about the assaults that happened to them. “Men don’t ask for help, men are strong, men are not vulnerable” — these prevent the victims of sexual assault to even think about talking. The fear of denial takes the upper hand. We should allow and let people open up, start supporting them as human beings and educate society to lend emotional support. What’s most important is looking at assault as assault and not change perspectives based on the victim’s gender.
No doubt that men need support too Aradhna Mohan, 24
While it may be true that there are more women who have been victims of sexual assault, one cannot deny the fact that men also face such atrocities. When male survivors of sexual assault do decide to speak up, their voices must be heard and action must be taken against the perpetrators; I don’t see why there should even be any confusion regarding this.
Dhanya Pillai, 23
Men are taught to be strong Not many men talk about their stories, and this is without doubt because of the way society has brought our men up. They are not supposed to cry, express themselves, stay at home while the woman works, or even buy sanitary napkins because that’s a woman’s job. So obviously, talking about assault will have them questioning their masculinity.
Sexual assault, whether involving a man or a woman, needs to be given equal importance. The survivors have suffered immense amount of pain and need to be heard. Working in the field of mental health, I see a lot of cases where the patient’s everyday life is affected.
Ananya Atish, 26
Forced consent is not consent The #MeToo movement is a safe space for survivors of sexual assault irrespective of their caste, race, and gender. Sexual assault is not specific to any particular gender. It can happen to anyone, but it shouldn’t be happening to anyone. The society is quick to blame the survivor/victim, irrespective of their gender. Most people still don’t understand the concept of consent. Forced consent is not consent. The assaulter almost always goes scot-free. If a survivor of sexual assault shares their story with me, I would believe them.
Vishal Muralidharan, 22
As important as women There is obviously societal denial, but more than that, there’s societal mockery — men who’ve been assaulted by other men have it a little better, but if a man has been assaulted by a woman, the reactions are more problematic. If a male survivor speaks up, I’d react the same way that I would when a female survivor does, maybe also tell him that it’s okay to not want sex, he doesn’t have to be confused as to why he said no, it’s okay to feel bad, and it’s okay to cry.
I find it a little hurtful that the topic of male survivors comes up only when people talk about female survivors. It’s never “men get raped”, it’s always “men get raped too”. I feel that people are using the pain, trauma, and incredibly hurtful and impactful experiences survivors have gone through to prove a point on the Internet. I’d appreciate these conversations more if they focused solely on male survivors, and didn’t go “well, women are being harassed, but so are men” and that male victims are talked about as a separate topic.
Kaveri Narayanan, 25
Usually passed off as building character Just as women are sexually harassed and/or assaulted, so are men. And their experiences are just as valid. In society, there’s just no acknowledgement of its validity. It’s like they pretend men can’t be sexually assaulted, or it’s passed off as “building character”, which is disastrous to their psyche. There’s an ingrained idea, a societal conditioning, that emotions are “for women” or “feminine”.
That stigma persists in the way people view men reporting sexual assault. I’d honestly treat them the way I would treat anyone who needs to talk about anything sensitive, by providing a safe space for them to talk. I’d encourage therapy to help them work through the trauma. Professional help, with the support of friends and family, is vital to their emotional resilience and well-being.
Jabez Kelly, 21
People think men make it up The basic idea is that men cannot be raped, and/or assaulted or harassed. But in reality, it is as rampant as female rapes. This I personally perceive as trickled-down patriarchy. As a gay man, who has been abused by someone in authority, I feel distraught whenever I think about how long it took to file a complaint against the accused. Male rape victims/survivors are looked down by a lot of people and it is conceived to be completely made up. There is very much a societal denial. It is daunting to think about how we (men) have no laws to protect us or to prosecute the accused. As an activist, we are working towards male sexual and mental health and will be organising sensitisation camps soon.