HYDERABAD: Anchor Suma and actor Rajiv Kanakala met when she was around 20 and he was 22. They got married on February 10, 1999, after three years of courtship. They built a life together and fulfilled the promise to take care of each other. Their story is that simple and also that extraordinary.
Looking back on their years of marriage, Suma says, “Even though we did many serials together and have known each other for long, I said no to Rajiv’s proposal. I knew my parents would not agree to it. They are very orthodox and coming from the different community, I had tough time convincing my family.”
Push and pull
The crowd favourite television show host who also recently forayed into Tamil television with Genes shares the couple had to go through tough times. “There was tension between us when we started dating back in the year 1996. We were in the same business and we also had added professional pressures. We used to hang out then. Rajiv asked me not to do a movie, I got angry and parted ways for one-and-a-half years. But again we came back together. It was like a magnetic force pulled us back together,” she beams and adds, “Being in the same industry, we couldn’t avoid bumping into each other. That’s when he pushed the romance again and this time I couldn’t resist myself,” laughs Suma, who holds a record for hosting the maximum number of episodes for Star Mahila in ETV in the Limca Book of Records.
He came around!
Walking down the memory lane, Suma recalls, she was filled with excitement and love. “Unlike every year you get your birthdays, this comes once in a lifetime. You want to experience it to the fullest. I was anxious, eager and happy. With the ceremony behind us, how I wished it could happen all over again. All my relatives came down from Kerala. Sitting in the room and waiting for the groom is still fresh in my memory. I was waiting in the room after Gauri puja and across the window I saw Rajiv in a pancha kanduva. Wow, he came. Thank God he did not run way,” she breaks into her signature giggle.
Was she nervous? “No. In fact, I enacted the character of a bride in so many serials that I was at ease. Just the fact that it is real and not on reel was exciting,” she exclaims
When love happened...
What about actor Rajiv did she love? “Rajiv’s father Devadas Kanakala was directing a serial Meghamala and I played the lead role. Rajiv also played one of the characters and that’s when I fell in love with him. We bonded on the sets. Before that we did a single episode for students of University of Hyderabad and that was the first time I met Rajiv. But we didn’t have any such feelings. Later, we went on act in a serial Jeevana Rangam,” she reminisces.
“He takes my success positively and constantly encourages me to do more”
Breaking the Ice
It’s normal for a couple to fight or argue. There is conflict in all relationships. But what matters in the end is how the couple decides to handle the differences. “I am someone who doesn’t get into fights easily, unless there is something serious. And when we engage in a fight, I switch on my silent mode. It’s always important to make point, but after endless arguments with no resolution we become silent. Relationship is like a monsoon – good or bad. We pull each other’s legs as we have been friends for a long time. Whenever we argue, it is Rajeev who tends to thaw first and break the ice,” she credits her better half.
She also admits that one cannot stay calm and composed forever. “The hardest part about being married is to be patient most of the time even if you don’t like things about your partner. You can’t be verbally expressive like you do with your friends,” she opines.
Children spread love
How does this couple stay in love, in good times and in bad? It can be hard to keep the spark and romance in your marriage when you have children around, but Suma’s take on this is different. “The best thing to stay in love is to have children. Automatically there will be love all around. There will be no escape and no chance of breakups.” Justifying her stand she adds, “When you are lovers you can call it quits anytime. You don’t have any responsibilities. But with children around it is difficult. So to be in love have children,” she says pointing to her children -- Roshan, 15, Manaswini, 10 and their three-and-a-half-year old Golden Retriever Zoro.
Rajiv over everything else
Seventeen years of togetherness and the host who is known for her quick wit and easy-going nature says, “I value my marriage so much, I would not choose anything over my marriage with Rajiv. I think it really is the best thing. You know you have someone to fall upon at any point of time. Before marriage, everything is about looks. Every moment you try to look good and your partner also expects you to be good looking. First thing one gets attracted to is looks. But after marriage good looks take back seat and its character that comes first.”
Family is all
With so many marriages falling apart around us today, she says, “Marriage gives you a feeling that you are on top of the mountain. After one big fight you might feel that you are going to fall down. But that’s when you need to hold on, keep calm and bounce back. Once you over 50, you can’t be changing partners, wandering around. Your life will become chaotic and you will think, first one was the best choice. Marriage stands on the principal of understanding. When you have a family, husband and children, nothing should matter more in life,” she sums up.