KOCHI: Devaki’s first son died at a young age. Then she and her husband adopted a girl child, who eloped with a guy when she turned 18. When she was brought before the police, she denounced her parents saying that she was not leaving with them and that they were her adopted parents. Devaki decided that she want another child and started IVF treatment. At the age of 50, she gave birth to twin boys.
Swapna has undergone 10 miscarriages and a stillbirth. She was so tired and on the verge of giving up. However, she did not allow depression or hopelessness hold her down. She finally gave birth to a baby boy through IVF treatment. Yearning for motherhood could be considered perhaps the most difficult thing a woman goes through in her lifetime. In a society like ours, where a woman is considered a failure and a burden if she can’t provide a child, it comes with the added burden of being called worthless.
“I am married for 15 years now. For over 13 years, we did all possible treatments to conceive. We would love an adopted child as much, but I wanted to feel the bond a mother and child has, which my sisters have with their kids. I am not saying I was looking forward to the labour pain, but I was always wondering what it would be like to carry a child of my own and feel them, to have them as a part of me. Luck did not favour us. On our 15 the year of marriage, we adopted a child. He is the light of our life and I advice adoption now if the couple is set on having a child of their own,” said.
Some yearn so much for achild that they keep trying. “In some cases, they give up after one or two failed IVF’s. However, in most cases, they are ready to do it even five or six times just so that they could have a baby. It depends on their will to keep on trying. We see a lot of women here, from different backgrounds, even after having many miscarriages. Sometimes they amaze us with their ‘need’ to have a child,” said Mangala working with CIMAR, a infertility hospital.