KOCHI: Psychologists fear that back-to-back incidents of young girls becoming victims of cruelty from spurned male lovers are a dangerous trend and alarmingly a pattern in Kerala. Gone are those days when many jilted lovers either took the extreme step or sought refuge in alcohol. Now, they take revenge on women who exercise their right to say ‘no’ to the affair. Psychologist Dr CJ John said it was more of a toxic relationship between girls and boys these days.
“Dangerous possessiveness and selfishness are the main reason for lovers to resort to these kinds of extreme action. The logic is simple: I don’t want to lose you but at the same time I will not allow you to live without me,” John said, adding these kinds of violence carried out by people who are into intimate relationship is called ‘intimate partner violence’.
John said repeated incidents of a similar nature put across a message that ‘this is the way of handling a situation when a girl rejects a boy’. He said initially girls consider aggressive possessive traits of their lover as symbols of passionate love but later, smart girls identify it as a psychic issue and try to avoid the lover. “People have to be more mature while identifying a person for a relationship and if a person shows signs of dangerous possessiveness, she or he must diplomatically avoid such a relationship,” he said.
Psychologist Dr Jesna Sivsankar said it was high time the profile of each person who has indulged in similar sorts of crime was analysed. “We need to study the cause of resorting to violent action while reacting to a situation in life. Repeated occurrence of a crime pattern in a situation is alarming. People have started to react to a situation in a different manner. The violent reaction to a situation is the result of selfish love,” she added.