THIRUVANANTHAPURAM:She’s a brave girl indeed. But the 23-year-old was forced to take the extreme step to escape from a man, old enough to be her father, who used to rape her since she was a minor.
For seven long years, she was frequently abused at her home where she lived with her mother, brother and paralysed father. As the story unfolds, one can also see a failed family set up where other members could not come to the rescue of the hapless girl.
She isn’t alone in our society. In over 90 percent of child sexual abuses reported in the capital last year, says the Child Line, the assailants were trusted friends or relatives of the victims’ parents. Most of these perpetrators had the freedom to visit the house whenever they wanted without any reason.
“Sadly a significant number of children are not safe at their homes. In many cases children are afraid of revealing their plight to parents fearing they would disbelieve them,” says Fr P D Thomas, director, Childline, Thiruvananthapuram. “Children are unable to judge right from wrong. Sometimes they get used to the abuse and would grow to become an abuser themselves. In other cases, the child would develop psychological problems or resort to self harm,” he says.
On Saturday, the day when the state woke up to the shocking news of bobbitisation, another girl was admitted to a government hospital in the capital. A 14-year-old who was impregnated by her brother aged 16.
“We are living in dangerous times. Early exposure to adult content through internet and social media evoke sexual curiosity in children which is exploited by the assailants,” Fr Thomas said.
Children of broken families and bickering parents are more vulnerable to abuses, according to the Childline counsellors. “Such children who yearn for love and admiration are found to be easy preys for assailants,” they said.
In many cases the “lover” would be an autorickshaw driver, security personnel or a neighbour who would be much older than the victim.
T'puram District fact file APRIL 2016- MARCH 2017
92 cases of child sexual abuse reported
Over 90 percent of assailants were known to the victim
15 teenage girls impregnated
90 percent of rapes were at the victims’ home
Assailants present mobile phones to victims for communication
In many cases the assailant is an autorickshaw driver, security personnel or a neighbour
Do talk
Parents should have friendly chat with their children. It is advisable to have a 30 minute to one hour long chat everyday, preferably in the evening. Don’t be authoritative but chat like a friend. Ask about their school, friends and other experiences on the day.
Meet your child’s acquaintances
Meet all acquaintances of your kid - teachers, sports coaches, school van drivers etc. Through these meetings, you are conveying to the possible predator that you are a parent who pays attention. Abusers normally avoid children of attentive parents. Do not allow sleepovers at friends’ and relatives’ homes unless you are sure that your child is safe there.
Teach them about body parts
Explain to the children that certain parts of the body are private. No one should be allowed to touch them. Educate them on improper touching. When the children are mature enough do not hesitate to answer their curious questions like “how was I born?”
No to secrets
Abusers always ask the kids to keep their affair a secret. Tell your child that they should not keep any secret with strangers.
If you suspect abuse
Talk to your child. Believe his words and never scold him. Ensure that he is taken into confidence. Visit a child psychologist or a counsellor. Do not hesitate to alert the police