Law of Attraction Decoded

These were the pick of the queries received via WhatsApp and answered by life coach Adarsh Basavaraj. Keep them coming!

Published: 29th February 2016 06:00 AM  |   Last Updated: 29th February 2016 10:15 AM   |  A+A-

I have stage frights. Please suggest some ways to walk out of my fear 

Frightened Speaker

COACHA.jpgConquering stage fear isn't tough. But it all depends on how much effort you put in. Please understand that we all passed this phase and it's a part of life. Here are some tips: Reach the place where you need to be on the stage, much earlier and get comfortable with the ambience and surroundings. If you get a chance to interact with the audience, talk to as many as  you can, so that you don't feel threatened on stage and you would have some friendly faces in the audience, as you would have already acquainted yourself with them. Imagine your most favorite person is sitting amidst the audience and train yourself not to let them down, in the sense you should rock it to impress him/her

 

I am a Mechanical Engineering student, but I am worried about my career as I have backlogs in almost all semesters. Should I take up additional courses or try a low-paying job? 

Troubled Techie

I completely understand what you're going through buddy. But let me be very honest, until and unless you are exceptionally good at something, you cannot expect great things to happen based on your academic performance. Whatever courses you take up, your basic graduation is a must. If you're willing to give up Engineering, which I would suggest not to, since you're in your final semester, the only advice I can give you is to somehow finish your engineering and then take up a certification course of any subject of your choice and then try for a good job

I am a Class XI student and going through a tough time in academic and personal life. I used to garner excellent scores until class X, but now I am not doing well in exams.  My father scolds me everyday. Even my girlfriend has betrayed me and is dating a guy who is ten years older. I cannot come out of this. How do I bounce back?

Love Lorn

I understand your issues, but let's face it. You need to work on it one by one. So here's my advice for you to kill it with a whole lot of swag! First, you need to understand that past has passed and you must move on. Secondly, regarding your girlfriend, if she ain't worth it, she ain't! Period! There's plenty of fish in the sea is what I always say. Also don't waste your time trying to make her feel guilty or regret her decision, cause you will screw up your priorities trying to get vengeance by thinking of her

I am in second PUC. Recently, I met my dad's friend and he told me that my percentage is not enough and his son is a doctor! My confidence is plummeting. Please help!

Setting Sun

This is a normal phase of life. I've been through this so many times. Here's what I want you to remember. Your father's friend might say a hundred things, but at the end of the day, he's not going to live your life. You need to choose what you want to do, what really interests you and need to convince your parents and take it forward. You need to be a man. It's OK. People say a hundred things. You can either choose to get affected by it and prove to them that you're a loser, or do what you love, be patient and let your achievements do the talking. I tell you this with so much of confidence because my dad's friends would say, that my marks aren't enough to even get a clerical job. But look where am I today?

Does human thought have a frequency, and does it vibrate? Does the Law of attraction really work and manifest our thoughts into reality? Do thoughts floating in our subconscious mind manifest into reality?

Deep Thinker

Dear Readers,

Being a person who believes that we learn till the very end, I was very excited with this query. As it made me actually research and learn a lot. In spite of being a hypnotherapist, I still had to research as, we focus on the Mind and not the brain.

COACH.jpgThe topic for this week's discussion is basic functioning of our brain, affirmations and how it affects our lives.

The fun part was the sender said that the question is very simple. It's actually contrary.

First things first. Our brain is an amazing piece of work! It's always given me amazing fascination about how we actually function. How our Brain (The Hardware) affects our mind (The Software) and vice versa. Our brain is made up of billions of neurons which employ electrical signals to communicate between one another, so using Electroencephalography (EEG) we have been able to understand that our thoughts definitely have different frequencies depending on different states of alertness of our minds, but I wouldn't be able to go into detail as I'll have to talk about the different levels of consciousness too.

Keeping it simple, during our general conscious state out brain operates at Beta Frequencies (14 Hz to 20-25Hz), so YES! our thoughts have Frequencies.

When we talk about the "Law Of Attraction" on which the movie "The Secret" is based on, we are basically talking about AFFIRMATIONS.

AFFIRMATIONS is a method of PROGRAMMING ourselves to break our limiting beliefs, or to enhance our efficiency and effectiveness in any aspect of life. Does it WORK?

TRUST ME, IT DEFINITELY DOES!

How?

It would be unfair of me to directly talk about Law Of Attraction without touching upon the roots, so here it goes.

Our minds work using a sequence that I have coined using three laws.

Law of Repetition, Law Of Dominance and Law of Attraction

Law of Repetition

When we keep repeating suggestions to ourselves (affirmations), after a particular time, our mind tends to slowly start integrating it as a part of our personality and character. If you keep telling yourself "I can lose weight",  you'll soon without your knowledge (sub consciously) start working out, swimming, or even go for a walk.

A word of caution! Remember that negative affirmations also have the same effect.

Law of Dominance

Once we have made it a habit (repetition of any affirmation) our mind slowly starts making that behaviour DOMINANT in us. So, in relation to my earlier example, the next step would be to become obsessed with fitness and ensure that you maintain your weight.

Law of Attraction

This is majorly on the subconscious aspect, wherein you tend to believe you can achieve anything. So you start programming yourself to achieve BIGGER & BETTER! You start looking at pictures of fit models, keep them as your wallpaper, start thinking that "I CAN DO IT" and in due course, you will get there! It might take time, if you lose hopes and start feeding negative affirmations. The cycle needs to get restarted. Hence, taking thrice the time frame! Always tell yourself positive things. Because your subconscious mind only trusts you. If you master the art of feeding yourself positive affirmations, it will prove to become a sure shot mantra of success.

Adarsh Basavaraj

The Coach

 

I fell in love with my senior who already had a girlfriend. When I asked him, he said that the other girl was his sister. I believe that he really loves me, but sometimes feel that he's losing interest in me. 

Confused Queen

Firstly, lying that she is his sister is a very cheap thing to do. That itself paints a wrong picture about him. And also after being in a serious relationship which has reached a level of the families being involved and still trying to have a relationship with you, should make you realise that he might do the same with you too. Always remember, you cannot have the cake and eat it too. If your guy is really serious about you, he would have broken up with her or phased out of the relationship by now. Let him settle down with the girl he has already promised a life with. Also imagine how heart broken that girl would be if she found out. I'm sure you don't want her curses. Do you?

 

How do I wake up early in the morning? I just can't open my eyes in the morning but I really want to wake up early. Please help 

Sleepy Head

I'm pretty sure you're busy with your phone, chatting, surfing the Internet, watching movies etc, which is a common problem. You need to break out of this habit and start to sleep early. Your body has a mechanism which ensures that it gets the minimum amount of sleep required to recharge itself. When you're not giving it the minimum rest that it requires, forget about opening your eyes, you can't even turn on your mind. You're just out! To help you reset your biological clock, first do some activity which strains you. I would recommend swimming or sports. Once you come back, because of the physical exhaustion you tend to automatically be very sleepy, at this point you just need to throw all your distractions aside. Not fight against your sleep and just hit the sack! You'll need to ensure that you do this for a minimum of three weeks, if you want to become a Morning person

 

After BTech I started working for a bank and wanted to pursue an MBA. However, I am unable to devote enough time for preparation for CAT and other competitive exams 

Busy Bee

I completely understand what you're going through buddy. But I also feel you're too lazy. Please don't tell me that you have no time to prepare and you don't get holidays. You need to learn to prioritise. If you really want to achieve what you're aiming for, you need to cut down on outings, social meets, parties, wasting time etc and pull your socks up and focus till you're able to achieve that goal. The key priorities are managing time and finally how badly you need to achieve your goal

Do you think it is better to only focus on study and not get involved in sports 

Sports Freak

This is a common confusion we all face. To keep it simple, my advice would be to be balance both. The reason is simple, if you are really good at sports, it'll also help you in your education as you might be eligible for Seats under the Sports Quota. On a honest note, until and unless you become a cricketer, your earning through sports may not be enough to sustain a livelihood. So you need a fall back on plan (Plan B), which will be a job, which you'll be able to get only if you study well and score good enough. So focus on your studies and do well, and allocate enough time to pursue your sporting passion. Always be the person you really are

Confused about where your life is going, what to do next, how to handle life’s curveballs or where to get great relationship advice? Never fear, The Coach is here. Life guru Adarsh Basavaraj will answer all your queries on WhatsApp! So what are you waiting for? Total anonymity will also be extended on request, and select queries will be answered in Edex

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