I’m doing my MSc. I’m single now but I had a bitter relationship. Now my problem is that I like to do many things and learn new things like the flute and kung fu. But I don’t have the push for it. How do I start? Where do I start?
Seeking motivation
We all go through the phase that you’re going through as of now. I’m referring to the LOW feeling that you’re experiencing. The difference between ACHIEVERS and SUFFERERS is just one simple aspect. Whether they sit and think about questions or TAKE ACTION! You’ve gotten very comfortable feeling low and expect someone to sympathise with you and PUSH YOU. Trust me that’ll NEVER HAPPEN. You and ONLY YOU can take control of your LIFE. You have made your life a BLANK PAGE and ONLY YOU have to START WRITING. Forget the past, it’s over. No matter how much you sit and think or complain about it, it’ll not change anything. Start living in the PRESENT. Start taking BABY STEPS. To break this pattern, take the first step and start with the easiest thing. Once you break this pattern and become busy, it will also help you get distracted from the past. Regarding your parents, we all have to depend on them until we earn well. Don’t worry about it now, get out of this mode. Earn well and take care of them by repaying them with LOVE. That’s all that they ever expect.
Do I have to avoid social media during exams? My friends have deactivated their accounts.
Exam concern
Let me be direct with you. The question of NECESSARY or NOT is in your hands and is dependent on your SELF CONTROL. If you are able to study QUALITATIVELY without getting distracted, then you don’t have to NECESSARILY take these measures. But rather than STUDYING HARD, if you get distracted and end up HARDLY STUDYING, then it’s better that you GO DIGITALLY OFFLINE. In my opinion, the best thing to do would be to concentrate and study for specific periods of time and then take breaks for specific timings. You have to maintain your time and during your break, you can go online to relax yourself and break the monotony. But if you’re not able to exercise SELF CONTROL and jump back to studies after the allotted time, I’d suggest that you don’t touch your mobile phone and computer altogether.
I’m depressed thinking about my career. I want to do an MBA. Sometimes, I feel I should die. Depressed
The past has passed, whatever has happened is over. You cannot change it. Rather than thinking of stupid things, BUCK UP! Get serious and put in your best efforts and study. Write and practise tough concepts. I am also a BBA/MBA graduate. It’s really not tough, you just need to understand the FUNCTIONAL aspect (where and how each subject is used in a business) and you’ll be able to write in your own words, which will also help you score well. If you feel you need to take a year off after your graduation, DO IT! But BE RESPONSIBLE and SERIOUS. I’m sure you’ll do well. Worst case scenario, you can always take up a PGDM course at a reputable institution and still get placed in a good company. No use losing HOPE, take it as a CHALLENGE and never repeat this irresponsible behaviour. LIVE and ACHIEVE! Rock On!
I’m in love with my professor. He knows that I’m interested in him, but he has not given any positive reply. What should I do? Lovestruck
You’re in a pretty complicated situation. It is definitely not WRONG, neither is your age gap something that you need to worry about. But you first need to figure out what is making you get attracted to him. The root of the problem in a majority of cases like these, wherein girls fall in love with AUTHORITY FIGURES has been linked to issues with their fathers. If you’re having issues with your father and don’t get along well with him, you tend to subconsciously PROJECT or imagine that attachment onto an individual who is in a position of authority. It might be bosses, teachers, or even your doctors in some cases. The reason might be many. It might be because they’re mature, intelligent, passionate about their job, they might be good listeners or they might be giving you the care and concern that you crave for. But whatever it might be, you first need to be clear whether you ADMIRE him or LOVE HIM. If you’re clear that you LOVE him and see a future with him, meet him sometime alone and have an open discussion. If he too has feelings for you, then you’ll have to wait till you finish your course and then take this forward. It’ll be good for both of you. Or else, trust me, you’ll end up creating a BIG MESS. One last thing, LOVE CAN ONLY BE TWO SIDED, without spending time with him or MUTUALLY developing feelings, it is only INFATUATION and not LOVE.
You need to finish the exam in your head, ‘hall’ else is next
Dear all, we spoke about how exams tend to stress you out and when is the right time that you need to consider managing your stress professionally, in our last conversation. This week, let’s take it a notch higher and discuss how to manage your exams LIKE A BOSS!
I always say that exams are one aspect of life that is complicated beyond our understanding. I say this as we can never go to the exam hall being relaxed, no matter how much we try. Today, I want to do my best and ensure that you all ROCK your exams by staying calm. So here are my best #Coach’s Hacks for your exams.
The start of your anxiety
The most crucial point wherein our anxiety starts to manifest into stress is the day before the exam. You all need to be aware of why you feel this, in order to be able to manage it effectively. Let me explain with a pinch of salt.
Research has shown that the top factors which elevate anxiety levels are:
Lack of motivation (Who can ever be excited about exams? Right?)
Lack of preparation (I’ll study tomorrow, day after, Poof! You’re already here!)
High expectations from your parents and yourself (Papa says that I should get 90% and above! It feels as if everyone learnt to start counting from 90 onwards!)
Comparison and competition from your classmates (He got X%, I need to do better!)
Finally... The constant questions. Have you studied everything? Are you well prepared? Will you do well? (Yeah! Like as if we aren’t stressed enough already!)
So what do you do?
Here goes... The FIRST IMPORTANT THING you need to remember is that WHATEVER HAS HAPPENED is IN THE PAST. LET GO! Forget the past and move on! They tend to suddenly become ENLIGHTENED about the seriousness of life and how they have managed to while away time. This self reflection starts with the guilt of not being able to either study well or FINISH STUDYING EVERYTHING! It starts here and without you realising, it pushes you into a GUILT TRIP, which in turn only makes you lose out on more PRECIOUS TIME!
So forget what’s happened! Remember that we’re all humans not computers or machines. We’re not blessed with a memory which is photographic in a majority of cases. Remember that the main objective of the test is to analyse your understanding of the subject and not to value you as an individual. Trust me, the best chaps I have seen are the ones who remain OBJECTIVE during this crucial period. They forget everything else, realise that there’s no point thinking either about the past or the future, weigh their options, pause and relax, choose the best option and perform. I suggest that you all do the same too. You haven’t prepared till now? It’s OK, prepare what you can now. Something is better than NOTHING, right? Be very clear and tell your parents in a calm way not to keep PROBING into your progress, I’m sure they’ll understand. Explain to them that you feel more tense and anxious. Stop comparing yourself to others, remember that we are unique and have our own SPECIAL GIFT, you’ll discover it eventually.
I was mostly considered a FAILURE because of my academic performance. I discovered what I am good at, I didn’t have to break my head about it. It just happened and here I am! So remember my story to motivate you and stop comparing yourself to others. On the whole, just put all your negative feelings aside, DO NOT give yourself ‘DEAD TIME’ (The time that you make to sit and think about all that YOU COULD HAVE DONE!). Just keep doing what you’re supposed to!
(To be continued next week...)
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