Emotional intelligence - The New Indian Express

Emotional intelligence

Published: 29th July 2013 12:00 AM

Last Updated: 27th July 2013 10:12 AM

Misunderstandings, fights, and awkward moments are common among friends and colleagues. Sometimes it is difficult to understand and sort out interpersonal relations when they get messed up. One can develop wrong perceptions about others or not find the other person’s attitude/ words to their liking.

You probably prefer to avoid the issue and think that the best way to deal with problems would be to remain silent. While you may recognise your own emotions, you probably fail to understand the other person’s feelings.

Emotional intelligence is the capability to recognise emotions. Understanding the root cause of your emotions and how to use them can help you to effectively identify who you are and how you interact with others.

We need to balance and regulate our emotions during social interactions: A myriad of emotions (getting angry, excited, annoyed, irritated, frustrated and disappointed) overwhelm our lives in different ways. Sometimes we are caught unawares. Some inhibit their emotions or others over exhibit their emotions. Inhibiting our emotions, indulging excessively or feeding our emotions excessively is dangerous and has the potential to disturb the apple cart.

How do you fix it?

First identify that there is a need to sort out the issue. If the person or relationship is important to you, then you will know that the problem needs to be fixed. Secondly, try to analyse what could have caused the misunderstanding. Empathising with the other person, understanding the problem and working out practical solutions for the same is emotional intelligence.

IQ and EQ balance is critical

Reasoning objectively has a lot to do with our intelligence quotient, but research has proved that human beings are a unique bundle of emotions and cognitive reasoning, both as part of our DNA and social conditioning. Our brain responds to both reason and emotions equally. That is the power of our brain. It is in our hands to develop both the skills and balance the objective and subjective parameters to understand situations, explore opportunities and excel in difficult times, both emotionally and professionally.

Emotional scars are dangerous in the long-term and can has the potential to cause a breakdown in our lives. As people who live in social groups and professional communities, we need to develop strong social skills to be successful. This cannot be achieved overnight. Only by constantly practicing and telling yourself to be motivated, can you achieve social and professional excellence.

— kalpana@acl-india.in

(Kalpana R is the founder of The Academy for Communication and Learning)

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