We hear many times that we ought to be one with ourselves. What does that mean? Basically it means you should be in perfect tune with your own self. There is nothing pulling at you or pulling you away from who you are. In other words, you are completely centred.
If we can begin to understand the mind intellectually at first, then we will have made a good start. If we can begin to discover the sources of our happiness and also the sources of suffering, then we have a chance. But that isn’t quite enough, as this kind of intellectual knowledge has to be brought down to the heart. When you are making a decision like buying a house, for example, you have all the facts and figures before you, but what really clinches it is the feeling in your heart: that’s what you need to practice more, every day.
You probably know people who seem to know themselves—who are able to listen to their own nature. They experience just as much sadness, anger and desire as the next person, but are good navigators through even troubled waters. I have many friends who aren’t religious at all, but who are simply in touch with themselves, which makes them very enjoyable and inspiring to be around.
Even if they are on a path to some form of improvement, which may take quite some time, they are making the most of their journey, wherever it might twist and turn.
If we do not immediately identify with that sort of natural happiness, we can develop it. We can improve on our understanding of our own nature and we can reveal our happiness.
This is my own experience. What if we were able to simply choose happiness? What if we decided to do away with all the conditions, comparisons and expectations, and focused instead of all the opportunities and truly good things we have in our life right now, today? People worry that if they are optimistic or look on the bright side, they will set themselves up for a fall or a disappointment. But an optimistic mind doesn’t expect every day to be a breeze or go perfectly according to plan; an optimistic mind has the flexibility to accept whatever does come its way and try to see the potential good in any situation.
An optimistic, or happy mind embraces the uncertainty of life and is less attached both to material things and the way things are.So, if this is the case, can we therefore train our minds to be happier, both in the moment and about who we are and what we’ve done, how we evaluate our life? The good news is that we can. We need to reconnect with our true selves, our intuitive selves. This practice plants the seed of understanding, and with understanding, happiness not only becomes our state of mind, but we begin to share it with others all day long—through our thoughts, words and acts.
Both meditation and developing your general sense of awareness are very helpful for turning up the volume on your inner voice so that you may know your purpose and then align what you do on the surface of life with what is in your heart. You can then begin to look at the situations in your life differently.
You will gain a fresh take on old patterns that have so often repeated themselves, and on things or people who you have always thought have somehow prevented you from being happy. You can also view challenges that arise more suddenly with a different way of seeing, so that you are less likely to be thrown off balance by things that usually sabotage your general state of happiness. You can pause before you react.
With a little practice, you will begin to see the fabrications you have allowed to build up over time, the conditions and demands you have placed on life so that you might ‘be happy’. You might discover that you have become very much attached—even addicted—to certain ways of thinking, likes and dislikes; and you might have become narrow and closed off. It’s not so easy for a narrow mind to be happy, so you need to practice to open up your mind, so you might let more happiness in.
We need to be able to look at ourselves in the mirror without squirming and be honest about the things we would like to improve and practice.When we are both kind and honest with ourselves then we can be kind and honest with everyone else. The art of reconnecting with yourself is a bit of a science—you explore your own motivations and you discover more of yourself; the more you know of your own self, the better you get at managing yourself and your life.
The author is the spiritual head of the 1,000-year-old Drukpa Order based in the Himalayas