Free your mind from labels to be happy

Before we understand our weakness for labels, we need to begin to understand our own minds our wants, motivations and needs.
Free your mind from labels to be happy

It is a contradiction in terms, but it is especially when we aren’t paying attention that we cling to so many things in our minds that we tie ourselves up in knots—unable to move or think freely. A consequence of inattentive living is a habit of quickly and easily identifying everything in terms of previous experience, or even just acquired information. You will recognise this in a habit to label things—even people, situations, or events.

I always think, for example, about how attached people in different countries are to their labels of measurement: “But what is that exactly in miles?” or, “I can’t understand—can you tell me in pounds and ounces?” Similarly, we break up time into things that we can measure—seconds, hours, days, years—but meanwhile, time just goes on its own way, completely regardless of how we might label it. And just like happiness, we will never succeed in pinning it down.
When we label ourselves and other people, and then strongly believe in those labels, we create the possibility for tension and disagreements, both within ourselves and with others.

Remember all those limiting beliefs we talked about earlier—for example, believing that we have to be perfect before we can be happy? Not only do we set ourselves up for a fall with such thoughts, we tend to see faults in others that either consciously or subconsciously we fear we ourselves suffer from.
If we are highly critical of ourselves, we will tend to be highly critical of others. We might convince ourselves that we have a highly developed sense of justice or of what is fair, but when looked at from an alternative angle this might be perceived as being highly judgmental and demanding of others. It’s the same behaviour, just a different label.

As we develop our awareness—that we all create labels based on our own perceptions and experiences—we realise that we don’t need to cling to any of them or take up such a defensive stance when somebody’s opinion is different from ours. So it’s ok if my friend is perfect to me, but not perfect to you. Why should we get angry at each other? Let’s respect our differences and understand that there is no need to hold on so tightly to our beliefs that we never have the flexibility to bend with the wind. And then let’s have a cup of tea and talk about something happy. When we begin to understand this, we see that differences don’t matter. We set ourselves free from what is ‘mine’ and what is ‘yours’. These are the kinds of tools that may be used to cut yourself free; to cut the bonds of your ego and set your mind free.
Before we understand our weakness for labels, we need to begin to understand our own minds—our motivations, wants and needs.

For example, we might contemplate why we have become such voracious consumers. Why do we go out constantly and buy new things that we don’t need but have a craving for? It is a distraction, a sticking plaster that keeps our minds occupied.
Of course, there is the temporary feeling of light relief, of giving ourselves bit of a treat or improving our comfort, but the trouble is that when we try to find comfort or relief through ‘things’ we tend to end up needing more of them just to sustain the feeling. We have wardrobes full of clothes we hardly ever wear, we throw away food uneaten. Sometimes it feels as though we have replaced ‘people’ with ‘things’.
The author is the spiritual head of the 1,000-year-old Drukpa Order based in the Himalayas

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