It’s that time of the year, when everyone writes an obligatory ‘Best of the Year’ list. I’m don’t like these lists. They make me feel like I spent the last 12 months making bad choices about everything: what I read (not enough), what I ate (Dominos and secret, late night Lays binges) and what I watched (YouTube panda videos). Well, in order to spread the misery, here are the top parenting news items of the year. Read it, and then go hang your head in shame about how little you know.
The Maternity Benefit (Amendment) Bill 2016 increased paid maternity leave to 26 weeks in all establishments, including the private sector. However, the amended bill doesn’t extend the courtesy to women who adopt or have children through surrogates, women in unorganised sector jobs, and suggests that women need this time off to breastfeed (fodder for another column). Also, how about a paternity leave
bill, people?
IVF and surrogacy brought us some of the most thought provoking and eyebrow raising news of the year. A woman in the UK gave birth to her own grandson when she acted as a surrogate for her daughter who couldn’t have children. Closer home, Baljinder Kaur became a mother at 70 and welcomed a baby boy using donor eggs at a fertility clinic in Haryana.
But things don’t always end with a bundle of joy. Actress Sofia Vargera (of Modern Family fame) is being sued by her own two frozen embryos(named ‘Emma’ and ‘Isabella’ in case you were wondering). Vargera’s ex-fiance wants to prevent her from destroying two embryos conceived via IVF when they were a couple. The lawsuit argues that Emma and Isabella are being deprived of the chance to be born and receive their inheritance via trust funds that have been set up for them.
So how much does it cost to raise these little darlings? Well, if you live in North America a cool $245,000. Some of that money is no doubt being used to develop tiny minds. How about specially adapted versions of classics by Jack Kerouac, Hemingway and Tolstoy for your five-year-old? If someone could please adapt Ulysses for kids, let me know. I really want to know what that book is about.
If you couldn’t get a book published, then this year you wrote an open letter: to your children, to your grandchildren, to the woman whose kid had a meltdown at the supermarket aisle. Some were poignant, some were boring and some were to promote a soon to be released movie.
Too lazy to write a letter? Then you restricted yourself to 140 characters to express your thoughts about things that have nothing to do with you. Case in point: Baby Taimur. We waited with breathless anticipation for Saifeena’s baby to arrive… and then when he finally got here, we TROLLED him! The nation (ok, people on twitter) wrinkled their nose (and then some) like your cook, mama, and next door aunty do when you tell them the name you’ve chosen for your baby.
That’s it for 2016 folks. Here’s to a new year and all the possible new ways in which we can screw up our kids. May we be saner, less judgemental and switch to organic chips for those late night binges.
(The writer’s parenting philosophy is: if there’s no blood, don’t call me)
Menaka Raman
@menakaraman