On the dawn of 2017, I will make an exhaustive list of all the things I’d like to do, dwell on it for about three days and consequently forget about everything. In the past, my resolution has been to become the ‘perfect woman’, which in my interpretation, means that I have to be a tight-ass, host impeccable dinner parties and wear the perfect Aerin perfume.
I realise that this makes me sound a little bit of a snob and perhaps anti-feminist, but that’s just the list I made, okay? Those were my concerns at the time. Interestingly, I accomplished exactly ONE of these. It was the perfume — no surprises here!
So this year, I decided it would be a little more fun (and realistic) to make beauty resolutions! If I look good, I feel good. It’s as simple as that. And I just get more stuff done when I have a fancy face mask and pretty silken pajamas on than I do when I’m lounging around in faded yoga pants and my 2009 prescription glasses.
First up on my list: Exercising. Goddamn I hate this. I’d rather be doing almost anything other than this, honestly. Why can’t there be something like ‘the bath programme’ where you get toned just by sitting in a hot bath for two hours? I would look amazing if that was real. I digress. I’m going to make a serious effort to do at least 30 minutes of SOMETHING everyday. Go for a walk, do some squats, jog (or at least briefly consider it) Must also try to eat better. If you are what you eat, then I’m defnitely feta cheese and Chardonnay.
I need to learn how to shop sensibly. This is how I should shop for things: Three-year warrantee! So ergonomic. Consumer reports, looks durable. But this is how I actually shop for things: OMGHAH THIS ONE HAS GLITTER ON IT! No really, this has got to stop. My dwindling bank account and shoebox cabinets cannot take it anymore.
Call me guilty for sleeping in last night’s makeup. Then waking up to apply another layer of makeup to freshen up. My blurry nights have been a testament to this and the zits that consequently pop up to say hello aren’t very happy. Must remember to keep a pack of makeup removing wipes by my bed to avoid this. While we’re on this subject — I must also stop covering up zits with concealers and products. Trust me when I say this: your coverup job can look odd in different lights. Please learn my lesson and let them breathe. The only thing worse than a pimple is a shiny pimple.
2017 is also going to be the year when I’m all about practicing safe sun. No buying moisturiser without SPF, no stepping out without SPF, slapping it on every inch of my skin like I’m a shiny seal. I’m also going to learn how to
blow out my own hair. HAHA. False. This will never happen, but I’ll definitely give it a try!
(The writer is a reporter with TNIE, a hopeless romantic who loves to read, and would like a bottle of wine attached to an IV)
Saumya Chawla
@meoowbox