The past few weeks have been a big, smelly-doozy, crap fest. I know I’ve already shared my thoughts on how the world is full of terrible things; and that there is a giant all-you-can eat buffet of crap-filled delights — it’s a gift that just keeps on giving. Sigh. Where do I begin? My brain hurts and I’ve been feeling pretty stupid lately. Not just forgetful or making a series of silly mistakes… more like, there’s a sweeping whoooooosh in my brain each time I sit down to write. I look around for a few words, stare at my nails for a bit, and usually end up watching Netflix or something.
Another typically difficult part of my day (when I’m feeling particularly brain-dead) is in the morning; when I’m trying to get dressed. “I don’t understand this weather?” I yell to whoever is listening (mostly myself). “What does 35 degrees mean?” What follows is more yelling until I gave up, nervous chomping on cupcakes, a t-shirt dress and rolling into work, very full; and 45 minutes late.
So you can see clearly that I don’t have a lot of things figured out. You know what I do (somewhat) have figured out though? The spirit of giving! With the whole Christmas season ‘et all… It truly is better to give than to receive. So last week, when a cop locked my car and chalked up a hefty fine cause I had parked in a “clearly demarcated” No Parking Zone, needless to say — I wasn’t feeling very benevolent.
Though honestly I’d be way less miffed if I was allowed to buy Bad Cop something pretty with my cash, like an adorable handbag (He obviously can’t be caught dead wearing his ticket machine around his neck like a plebian! Maybe he’d feel obliged to look over my error, you know, as a common human courtesy? Pay it forward and all that) or a glam kitty-cat headphone set to drown out screeching motorists he keeps fining.
It truly is the season of giving (hint), and since all of you are so clearly just *waiting and dying* to find what’s on my Christmas wish list this year, it’s Tata Harper’s Winter Wonders set! It even sounds magical… I had a sample pop of her lip and cheek tint, which somehow fell and my room looked like a My Little Pony crime scene. Hmm anyway… Bad Cop, generous readers, Tata Harper — are you listening? All donations can be made to ‘Teach Women How to Use Make-up Not Mathematics Foundation’. We accept cash, credit cards, debit cards, cheques, discount coupons and Tata Harper Gift sets. Merry Christmas!
Saumya Chawla
@pixie.secrets
The writer loves to over-share, drink wine & watch period dramas