Let go.” Go to any armchair consultant. Pick up any self-help book. These are the two constantly used words. Can’t they come up with anything original?
My friends scoff at me. “You haven’t seen it all. It won’t be like losing your favourite hairpin or giving away your favourite 10-year-old saree! Letting go of persons dear to you will be more painful.” This ‘letting go’ business irritates me. I scoff. Letting go comes naturally to women, you know. Don’t we marry off our daughters and sons, who become a part of somebody else’s life? I think of my mother; all her three children got separated from the Mother Tree a long time ago. Hasn’t she taken it in her stride? Every parent does that. So, what’s the big deal?
My enlightened friends say that it won’t be easy, especially for mothers who are, by nature, possessive (read: like me). My daughter is amused. “Possessiveness is not the problem, Amma. You are slow to accept change and your tolerance level is very low. Come here, I’ll show you how to.”
She does. Demands on time, priorities and life—things do change with the passage of time. There are changes everywhere and in everyone. As expected, I struggle. I miss so many things. My heart longs for the two small kids who used to fight for their rightful place beside their grandmother: the young girl with her SOS for Thathi for this and that and who would rush to me in tears, for consolation, when her father was ‘mean’ or ‘rude’ to her; my own daughter, who would sit at the foot of our bed every night, with our talks going into the wee hours, with my husband’s snoring providing the background music.
They are all in a rat race, with no time to stand and stare. I feel real empty now. I grumble, groan and grieve. “Let it go. You should learn to do it. It is inevitable. Don’t you realise our girl is an emptying nest now? In another 3-4 years, both her kids will be gone. That’s life. For us, let’s be happy that we had our share of good things. Just let go.” The ever-wise husband tries to play the armchair consultant.
Haven’t I always said it’s the law of nature? Don’t I always say that it’s easy to let go? Haven’t I always said I am always good at letting go of things and people as well? Haven’t I always believed that my happiness depends only on me and should not be linked to others?
Then, why do I feel this sting of tears at the back of my eyes? When it comes to the philosophies of life, I think theories and practicals are two different things. Unfortunately.
Email: maashu1@gmail.com