So the Oxford English Dictionary declared Youthquake as the word of the year, and Merriam-Webbster went with Feminism. I’ll admit I was hoping it would be ‘woke’ so that I’d finally find out what the word meant. But that’s ok, I’ll just keep using it in sentences till I figure it out based on people’s facial expressions. No biggie. (See how I redeemed myself by throwing in a cool word there?) 2017 was filled with new parenting words and phrases.
Here are five that I had to learn.
Mental Load
I can’t think of a single woman I know who didn’t read French comic artist Emma’s strip for The Guardian on the ‘mental load’ of running a home and relate to the sharp, insightful piece. If you’re the default person who is keeping track of birthday presents to buy, renewing the cable connection, ordering the groceries, cooking the dinner and cleaning up afterwards, then you’re shouldering the mental load of running your home. Question is, what are you going to do about it?
Perennials
Watch out! The ‘Parennials’ are here. Not to be confused with all year flowering plants, these are the few millennials who can be bothered to have children (because don’t you know, millennials are not having enough babies according to some studies.) They are hashtagging every moment on Instagram, downloading apps to monitor everything from pee-pee schedules to growth spurts and are even attempting 50-50 co-parenting (may the force be with you on that one!) And who do they turn to in times of need when their baby won’t stop crying? Google. I used to call my mother and cry, snotty tears, but hey, that was way back in the day.
Self Care
Take time to be mindful or at least download a mindfulness app. Remember to get enough sleep or hire a sleep coach to help you. Schedule a spa appointment, practice Yoga, drink green juices and do facial exercises so children in the lift don’t guess your age in loud whispers and add about 50 years to the actual number. #SelfCareisExhausting.
Baby moon
That last vacation alone as a couple before the baby arrives. I mean sure, you can’t drink or eat a whole bunch of things, you can’t really sleep anymore because you need to pee every five minutes or you’re awake wondering why you’re bringing a baby into such a terrible world. You have clown feet, are increasingly weepy and petrified that you’re going to be a terrible parent. Sounds like you’re going to be amazing company on a vacation. Bon voyage!
Distracted parenting
Animal and vehicular parenting is so mid 2000. Parenting this year was all about being super distracted by reading about what kind of parent we should be (channel your inner Kourtney Kardashian) on our phones. There’s no sorting hat here which labels you a tiger or kangaroo or excavator parent, because let’s face it, we are all distracted parents. I’m sure 2018 will have plenty of new words in store for us to learn and bring up at dinner parties so that the awful woman in the green dress stops talking about breast feeding her five year old. 2018 is going to be woke. I can feel it. No? Not there yet? FINE!
Menaka Raman
Twitter@menakaraman
The writer’s philosophy is: if there’s no blood, don’t call me