Adele’s Grammy act, a comment on mind-numbing Tamil TV serials I’ve watched this week (credit: grandparents), actor Hansika Motwani’s career curve, and the beach party in Tamil Nadu are all things I’ll reserve for later. For this week, some personal and political musings on Valentine’s Day, rather ‘travels through V-day’:
The story of Saint Valentine entered my life, thanks to a school project in my early teens. Now I can’t think of why he was featured in school curriculum, especially since high school crushes were cruelly crushed on disciplinary grounds — today I’d call it unnecessary intrusion, even a mishandling of adolescent urge.
Teenage went by as the third wheel, the fat girl afraid of rejection by her secret crush, and was spent couriering cheesy messages and gifts between couples under the watchful eye of teachers. Having waited year after year for the wind to blow my way, I went to a ‘girls only’ college where it was hearts, heartthrobs and heartbreaks all the way. At university, I broke out of the shell (or should I say heart?); it was also around when Iembraced feminism.
Over the past few years, Feb 14 has diversified from Valentine’s Day to at least four alternative days for me, and a fifth if we were to count the ‘Matru-Pitru Diwas’ (Mother-Father Day) in one part of the country. All four of my descriptions come from the varied agendas set by groups for themselves on this day.
The first, most obvious is of course, ‘Yet Another Business Opportunity’ day. For companies, this is another day/week/month to boost sales in the name of love. By putting all things lovey-dovey, doe-eyed and pretty on the shelves, we are told that love really lies in buying a lovely gift. The size and the worth of the gift is supposedly proportionate to the depth of love. Sometimes, the gift is what brings one closer to love.
Lovers day, popularised by pop-culture, is the second. A day to celebrate old love, propose or proclaim new love — for lovers, this is a day to soak in love in its entirety. Sometimes, it lies in the actions of the day — it could be basic holding of hands, or the colour-coordinated clothes, or the signalling in red and green. The question is whether the love will go beyond the token day set aside for it…into beautiful forevers.
Bajrang Dal and the likes make way for the third, absurd, ‘we have other jobs, but we want to be police’ day. Whether it’s love they are against, or the display of affection, or the celebration of it, or the adoption of western culture, it’s not clear. But it’s their mandate to preserve ‘Indian Culture’ and on V-day, the upholders of desi-ness, the protectors of women, the preservers of morals take the day off to roam the streets.
They also take to the internet these days, asking for pictures of couple drinking coke to be posted so they are shamed. They are not clear if the shaming is for drinking with two straws from the same bottle, or for drinking Coca-Cola.
I’m most partial toward the ‘Let’s create the right to love anyone’ day. Activists use the day as another opportunity to raise questions of who can love who and what kind of love is acceptable and valid. This irks the hell out of the moral keepers, but it’s only to make them redundant that this faction exists.
Starting this week, I’ll remember Feb 14 as the day on which the Supreme Court delivered a long-awaited verdict. And starting now, I’ll remember it as THE Valentine’s Day that inspired political puns.
The gems I’ll keep with me for years to come include, “The SC’s Valentine’s gift to Tamil Nadu”, and “As if we don’t know that the police would nab those who party on ECR on Valentine’s Day!”
At the end of the day, love is political, and love doesn’t exist without a few laughs, and no one but the meme-makers understand the overlap better.
(The writer is a Chennai-based activist, in-your-face feminist and a media glutton)