At a time when the topic of gender roles or women empowerment guarantees interesting conversations, one seldom thinks of the age-old stigma attached to the word ‘victim’.
She is a victim if she has been raped, molested or harassed. But is she not a victim still if society has deprived her of her most basic quality—her strength? In a country where fiery goddesses like Kali and Durga are celebrated, a young Indian girl is still told “no walking home after 7 pm beta, those lanes are dangerous”. While we have spent years, decades even, lamenting over the poor law and order situation or rather the laxity with which cases of sexual harassment are investigated and completed, we have left our girls in a state of victimhood.
My views may differ, strongly shaped by having grown up in a family where I was taught that honour comes first and defending myself against those who even remotely try to mar it, is allowed. A few months ago I decided to walk home from work after 10 pm. I had studied the traffic and the crowd; I knew when it surged and thinned. I also knew that walking home after 11 pm would be tough. One night I braved all odds and decided to walk home, only to be stopped in the middle of a road by a man who was feeling extremely friendly. He fled after I clicked a picture and said it would appear in the paper the next day.
However, that was just one of a million such incidents before and after that day. Moral of the story: A woman walking alone after a certain time, no matter how ‘decently’ dressed is certainly ‘asking for it’ if she’s walking home late because good girls usually take cabs or stay home. This irked me. While the country shuts down roads and tells its daughters not to venture out after an understood curfew, any girl doing so was clearly labelled the villain, and later a possible victim.
Some of my concerned colleagues chastised my decision to walk back home at night, calling it “foolish”, but my argument remained. Why waste a small fortune or three hours waiting for a cab when I could reach my house in five minutes? This miffed me. This false guardianship where the rest of the country, in all their nationalistic glory try to protect me by building back walls and barriers my predecessors and I have waged a war to break. The recent rhetoric is ‘tell your boys to say no’.
I’d say, though easier said than done, teach your girls to show them no way hoze. Isn’t that what we should promote instead of confining our womenfolk to ‘safer environments’? Teach your daughters, sisters and wives to fight back. Stop protecting them behind closed doors. It’s about time you reveal to them that they are it.