You could belong to a rare species that has been living under a rock and has completely missed the feminist furore of the week on social media. If you are one of them, then it’s high time you get up to speed on Raya Sarkar’s now infamous list of sexual harassers that is shaking the core of Indian academia. And well, if you were like me, you too would be as surprised as me to know that Halloween is celebrated in Chennai. Yes, really.
Frankly too much talk is happening about ‘the list’ on social media. Everyone with an opinion has made it known and has invited the wrath of others with an opinion that partly or completely disagrees. Because I am yet to get through Kristen J Sollee’s Witches, Sluts and Feminists I have not given enough thought to ‘witches’ actually being the powerful women that patriarchy feared (We’ve got to talk about demonesses in Indian mythology).
Social media can be a toxic place, as is evident from the bashing that’s happening and when things get out of hand, we need tricks and treats to deal with it. So for feminists ‘right’ and ‘wrong’, ‘bad’ and ‘good’, for those identifying as female, male or any other gender, for social media crusaders and users alike, here are some social media self-care tips:
Tricks
Let yourself believe that you live 20 years in the past, in a world without social media. At least for a few hours a day, go without checking your various platforms. Do not go anywhere near Facebook and Twitter for two hours before and after your bedtime — this will brighten your day, maybe even help you smile often.
Get the information you need from trusted sources. You don’t really have to read everything that is published on the Internet.
Don’t take disagreements personally.
If you are fighting trolls and see no way out of it, ask for help. Return the solidarity when required.
If the troll is especially good or funny, take a moment and laugh at yourself/the joke.
On social media, the winner is the one who is louder, not necessarily the one who is right. Some fights are actually worth walking away from so kill your ego and do just that.
The echo chamber that is social media will throw the same things at you time and again. ‘Cut and paste’ cannot be applied to real life — so take the conversation offline. Meet up, discuss, and talk it through.
Not too many people on social media exist to be convinced — they are there to shout out opinions. Ask yourself if you will allow yourself to be convinced on a Facebook thread? Tell yourself that it’s not your job to convince everyone about your opinion.
Social media is only a reflection of the mindsets that prevail in the real world, so invest in every little way you can to change ground reality.
When it gets overwhelming, take a break. Switch off with no regret. Social Media won’t miss you.
Treats
If you manage to do any of the above, give yourself a hug because you did great. You deserve good company, a good book or movie, a great conversation, a tub of ice cream, an evening on the beach, a long drive on ECR, a day on an actual farm, a night gazing at the stars or anything that you would rather be doing when you’re off social media. You are worthy of happiness. We all are.
Archanaa Seker
seker.archanaa@gmail.com
The writer is a city-based activist, in-your-face feminist and a media glutton