To do all the things ‘ladies’ are not allowed to

Ladies not allowed’ it read in bright red paint.
Representational Image
Representational Image

Ladies not allowed’ it read in bright red paint. This is an image of a light unit bus that a friend sent me. Checking with other friends who work in cinema confirmed that there were several such buses or trucks that carry lights, cranes, and production utilities, usually parked at a film shoot location, and all had the same words lettered on them in an non-ignorable place, colour and size. This was the solution to keep sex scandals off the sets, because well, there are those who still believe that all it takes for things to get steamy is for a woman to step onto a bus.

The picture reminded me of an incident from long ago when a group of us landed up at a bar that’s easier than most on the pocket, only to be turned away. The man at the desk nodded towards a ‘rules’ board, which among other things listed ‘women not allowed’. I hear that the board has stood the test of time, floods and cyclones no bar, and the rule too – women are still not allowed in.

The logic behind both of these is the same – they are male spaces and can be unsafe for women; it’s better to keep women out than to face the consequences of untoward incidences. The logical thing to do would be to get men to behave instead of banning women from spaces, but this of course, is the more difficult path. But on the way to a better world where women are safe all the time, everywhere, there are no gendered spaces, and where women’s’ mobility is not controlled, here are some other things I think we should not ‘allow’ for:

Firstly, ‘Ladies not allowed’ to be put in their place. This means they will grow in ways they want to, and their questions answered and voices not silenced. ‘Ladies not allowed’ to be told where to be and when, and ‘Ladies certainly not allowed’ to be banned from places. ‘Ladies not allowed’ acting like ladies because it’s expected of them. ‘Ladies not allowed’ to be told how to speak, how to sit, how to act, how to be.

‘Ladies not allowed’ to be told that they need a significant other, or hate other women because the patriarchal world tells them so and ‘Ladies not allowed’ to live with a patriarch inside their minds. Of course, ‘Ladies not allowed’ to be instructed on whom to fall in love with. Definitely, they are not allowed to fall in love with harassers, abusers, and manipulators. ‘Ladies not allowed’ to be married to men who don’t say, “We are pregnant”. ‘Ladies not allowed’ to be handling care work and emotional labour by themselves.

‘Ladies not allowed’ to be forced to give up on their dreams and careers. ‘Ladies not allowed’ to be told to make choices where men don’t have to. They are not allowed to feel pressured or cornered in any situation. They are not allowed to constantly measure their worth, put leisure on the back burner. Lastly, ladies are not allowed to forget that they need men only for pro-creation not for pleasure.

Archanaa Seker

seker.archanaa@gmail.com

The writer is a city-based activist, in-your-face feminist and a media glutton

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