School Diary.
Entry dated June 25, 2018.
Maths Homework: Make a model using 3D shapes and submit by July 10. Students can depict a scenery, make an animal or create a building using 3D-shaped objects found lying around the house.
School Diary.
Entry dated June 26, 2018.
While the Maths Homework assigned yesterday seemed straightforward enough, given the influx of emails, WhatsApp group rumours and emergency Town Halls convened regarding the assignment, we have put together some handy FAQs.
FAQ 1: Who should do this project?
This project is intended for children. We urge parents to not do their child’s project for them. Project based learning is meant to extend your child’s learning and help them make real world connections with the subjects taught at school. It is not intended as an opportunity for you to put your glue gun and Masters in Architecture to use. Seeing how Jr is still unable to tie his own shoelaces, don’t think we don’t know who really made that working model of the Eiffel Tower.
FAQ 2: How does making a city diorama with old juice cartons extend learning in to the real world?
Such questions are not helpful. Also, who are we to presume what connections the human mind can make between junk the future of mankind? Other unhelpful questions include ‘Who Should do this project?’, and all the other FAQs on this list.
FAQ 3: Didn’t my child do the same project last year?
Full marks to your memory! It would be wonderful if you also remembered to turn up for PTMs and Project Day. To return to the question at hand, yes, your child has been doing the same project every year for the last three years. We believe that this reinforces the concept being taught and also helps us not have to think of other project ideas.
FAQ 4: Can we submit the same project I did last year? The motorised model of the solar system has a few more years in it. Plus I’d like a higher ROI.
Of course you can reuse old projects. We will subtly judge you for your lack of enthusiasm over an opportunity to turn crap into slightly better looking crap, but hey! Don’t let that stop you.
FAQ 5: What percentage of my child’s year-end grade is dependant on this project?
This project was assigned to appease parents who felt that classroom learning was not making enough connects to the real world, and who had a surplus of juice cartons in their home. We actually calculate your child’s year end grade using a smiley system. :D = A :) = B : ] = C :P = Haha! We fooled you into thinking there was a real system in place.
FAQs 6 to 293 have not been answered as we felt them to repetitive, obvious and also we don’t get paid enough to answer all your stupid questions. It’s a class 2 project, not the Google Science Fair. Your child’s future admission to Harvard is not dependant on their ie your ability to make a robot using an old cardboard box.
Sincerely,
The Class TeacherClass 2C
PS. Heads up! Next month’s assignment is ‘Create a cutting edge chatbot that will answer FAQs from parents who need to get a life.’