CHENNAI : On today’s episode of What’s wrong with my life, let me tell you all about the nervousness that comes with trying out a new mascara; courtesy my RCS (Regular Crying Sessions). Will my
entire face turn into an ink stained mess courtesy mascara and my inability to stop rubbing my eyes? Will I end up looking like a Halloween costume in the middle of the office? Will salt water mix with a new
formula and make my lashes fall out faster? Will all the dramatic sobbing make my lashes flip into my eyes and scratch my corneas? Sigh, stranger things have happened. For the sake of sad girls everywhere, I decided to find out: can you be glamorous and weepy at the same time? What formula will stand the ultimate test of tears and survive a good 15 second window-wiper rub with open palms?
It is important to note that I continued crying as much as I normally do: during my morning shower, before, after and during exercising, while eating spicy biryani (why do the things you love hurt you the most?) and any time I missed my fat snowball of a Persian cat, Edward.
A makeup artist friend of mine
recommended that I run a clean spoolie through my lashes after a cry. I was
ever-grateful for this advice, and it brought me such joy. I loved how awake and Disney-princessy my eyes looked and didn’t end up with crumbling flakey lashes post an Air Supply-induced crying sesh. The spoolie trick is undeniably genius, though. You can buy them in packs of 100 from Amazon, or if you’re anything like me, you’d just pocket a few on your next Sephora trip.
I also hardly ever wear eyeliner anymore, and it has helped shave 50 minutes off my morning routine and has also significantly lowered my blood pressure. I was waiting to get my hands on the waterproof variant. Unfortunately, I didn’t even make it three hours. An Instagram video of a tiny puppy in a life jacket floating through the air caught me by surprise and I couldn’t hold the floodgates any longer. The mascara was largely forgettable, my eyes didn’t look like they were going to the Oscars.
Here’s what really surprised me though. I tried several drugstore mascaras, and majority of them surprised me with brilliant formulae. What I love most about high-end mascaras is the wand they come with, and that is essentially all you are paying for. So keep the wand after the mascara is over — you should be dumping the tube after three months of using it anyway; and use it with the drugstore variants.
If you’re planning on trying this little at-home Which mascara will die on me experiment and can’t get yourself to weep, you can always force yourself by looking up: Proposals that will make you cry and commercials that will make you cry. In the name of investigative journalism, you can also dump some contact solution all over your face and blink a dozen times. If you ask me, (and if you’re still reading this there is a direct implication that you did, indeed, ask me) contact solution is the doctor-approved tear replacement. Amen!