What can you make with dried pasta? Imagine that you’re on MasterChef Australia and you put your hand inside the Mystery Box and take out macaroni, construction paper, glue, googly eyes, scissors and some cookie dough. What would you make that would impress the judges? That would make Gary, George and Matt pause for a moment and look emotional and say something like, “It’s great. That’s brilliant. It’s exciting” or “I’m so proud that you’re doing something totally different from what you normally do.” Or “I can really taste your feelings in this.”
You wouldn’t make mac and cheese, would you? Because let’s be honest, you know that’s not going to win you an immunity pin. Also, the chances of the judges choking on the googly eyes are high. But don’t be held back with what convention says you should do with good old macaroni. Be bold. Be different. Be daring.
There’s nothing you can’t make with dried pasta. Nothing. Just ask any parent confronted with a Monday morning Middle School Science Project deadline on a Sunday night. You could make a moving model of the human skeleton. Spaghetti for the limbs, macaroni for the ribs. Farfalle for…a bow tie? Not technically a part of the skeletal system, but sure to add a certain je ne sais quoi to your model.
You could make a stegosaurus and use some fusilli and riccioli. If you’re making a Euplocephalus, make sure you use tortelloni for the tail and not tortellini. They are two very different things and it would be physically inaccurate to make your dinosaur model with the latter.
Perhaps you need to make a model of a famous heritage building. Ever noticed how the Sydney Opera House looks like Conchigle? How about the Leaning Tower of Pisa made with bucatini and with little rotelli wheels for decorations? When it collapses, as it no doubt will, your child can just say that the damn tower leaned over too much.
Perhaps your child has been asked to make a model of the earth’s crust for school. Sheets of lasagne people. In fact, you could just make some lasagne and send it to school. Red sauce for lava or magma. Or whatever that red stuff is called near the core. Acts as a Geography project submission in the morning and then turns into lunch in the afternoon. Who’s feeling me here?
An edible model of an animal cell? Am I the only one who can see the amazing similarity between tagliatelle and Endoplasmic Reticulum? Penne is practically the centrioles’ brother from another mother. If you really want to impress the teacher and torture yourself, you could use alphabet spaghetti to spell out the name of each organelle.
I mean really, the sky is the limit with dried pasta. If you know what’s good for you, you will fill a separate storage facility with all the dried pasta you can get your hands on.
Next week: 10 ways to use dals. And nope, sambar ain’t one of them.
PS: I may have inhaled a little too much glue while assembling a life-size model of Alfred Nobel for a Chemistry assignment leading to some inaccuracies. Everyone knows they should use anelloni to make the centrioles.