KOCHI: Diya Maria (name changed) was transferred to Kochi recently. Upon arriving, she found it very difficult to find a place to stay.
“Knowing I'm single working woman, most house owners strictly said 'no'. Initially, I stayed at my aunt's place for some days before I found a place to stay at Kaloor,” she said.
Maria is one of the several single women in Kerala. As per the Census-2011, the total number including spinsters, widowed and divorced/separated is pegged at nearly 13.6 lakh. Women's rights activists say it is high time policy makers give a serious thought on ways to address their issues.
Says actor and social activist Parvathy T: “Of the various problems dealt by single women, accommodation and travel are the major ones that need to be addressed by the government. With proper coordination from all the sectors of the government, they can implement projects easily.”
Biju Prabhakar, Special Secretary, Department of Woman and Child Development, said the government knows the problems faced by single women and is engaged in talks with several departments to bring out projects to ensure women safety.
“Our state cannot be called progressive unless the government ensures the safety of women by providing them proper accommodation and travel facilities. Soon, we will launch projects focusing on single women in the state,” he said.
The struggle is real
Being single, especially a single woman, is not accepted in society and in many cities, such women struggle due to the lack of accommodation facilities.
“It is very difficult for single women to get houses for rent in cities. Working single mothers are the worst affected, as private creches in the state are very expensive and ensuring the safety of their child is a major concern. The women can stay for rent in places provided by the government,” says Parvathy.
Last year, the government set up a separate department for the welfare of women and children in the state based on the reports of the former director of social justice, V N Jithendran. The State Women's Commission, State Commission for Protection of Child Rights, Gender Park, Nirbhaya Project, Sisukshema Samithi, Anganwadi Welfare Fund Board and shelter homes were brought under the new department.
Coping up after separation
Once women come out of wedlock, they find a new-found independence. However, they also find it hard to cope with life, especially if they are single parents too.
Reena Mathew, an HR personnel, struggled after she was divorced due to the absence of any creches near her office in Thrissur.
“Being a single mother of two, it is very difficult to survive without a job. After my divorce at the age 35, I really struggled initially to manage my kids, their education and health. There were no creches near the office and I had to take the risk of hiring a helper to take care of my kids at home,” said Reena.
Despite the centrality of marriage to our lives, India has 7.4 crore women – nearly 12 per cent of India's total female population – who never married or are divorced, separated or widowed. It is a demographic that is rapidly expanding. Between 2001 and 2011, there was a 39 per cent rise in the number of single women in India.
An organisation for single women
ASWAS, an association of single women in Kochi, takes the initiative to help such women acquire self-reliance on all counts and to facilitate less-privileged single women to lead a normal and dignified life.
It has all become a part of the culture that has been practised throughout the ages. “In a conservative society, it is very difficult to gain acceptance even in our families. I had a tough time convincing my family I will not get married before age 32,” said Arpita, a techie residing in Kochi.
“It has been 18 years since we have been assisting single women. We make them self-reliant by providing them with education and training facilities. We cater to the requirements of divorcees, unmarried women and also women suffering from several health ailments, from every age-group,” said a patron member of ASWAS.
The Kerala State Women's Development Corporation (KSWDC) has also taken several measures to support single women financially by giving loans to meet their needs.
“We give preference to single women by lending them loans up to `30 lakh. Whenever required, we also provide training class facilities to them,” said a KSWDC officer in Thiruvananthapuram.
The LDF Government has promised so much for women's welfare, but in the end, single women in the state still face the daunting task of meeting day-to-day challenges, even while 'satisfying' the society she lives in.
No of single women in state (Census 2011)
13,58,698 total
9,27,499 never married
2,84,550 widowed
1,46,649 divorced/separated