THIRUVANANTHAPURAM: The death of a 22-year-old student who jumped off the terrace of a city hostel where she was staying, has once again brought to light the lack of acceptability that people with queer sexual orientation have to live with. In her case, it was her family who was opposed to her re-assigning her gender. Sources said she was a confident person who was well aware of what she wanted.
“I have a friend who is a trans-man and this girl was in touch with him. She had a positive outlook and was focussed on getting the sex re-assignment surgery done at the earliest,” said Vihaan Peethambar, a transgender activist and board member of LGBT rights group Queerala.
One of the doctors whom she had met for advice on gender change reportedly told her parental consent was required for surgery. On the day of the suicide, she had a conversation with her parents who were staying abroad. “One of her roommates revealed that her parents were against the surgery. They later told she would have to wait till her younger sister’s marriage. That is thought to have forced her to take the extreme step,” said M Prasad, CI, Cantonment Station.
Vihaan said the doctor’s advice was rubbish and he was working to ascertain the identity of the doctor. “A person who is above 18 does not need parental consent. All that is needed is a bystander to stay with the patient during the surgical process,” Vihaan said. Vihaan said concealing one’s identity is like living with depression. “Both can get you killed,” he added.
“She was basically a trans-man who was entrapped in a female body and that ‘gender dysphoria’ is too tough to handle. She came out in the open to those close to her. She never hid it; she wore men’s clothes and expressed strong desire to change her sex,” Vihaan said. “Compared to trans-women, trans-men are more invisible and they require advice on hospital, medication, surgery and psychological support.”
“Whenever I see the news of women’s suicides, I always treat it with a pinch of salt. At times I suspect whether the suicide was committed for some other reasons that the family and the police are not ready to shed light on. For them, it’s the dignity of the families they are worried about. So the issue of sexual identity often gets swept under the carpet,” Vihaan added.