CHENNAI: Twenty-year-old Pooja* had been in a relationship with Raj* for over three years. She trusted him and had even undergone an abortion at his insistence. So, she was shocked and heartbroken when he started blackmailing her for money by threatening to upload intimate photos and videos of her on to social media sites.
“When I told him I was pregnant, he forced me to have an abortion and promised to marry me. Soon after that, he said he couldn’t marry me because I was from a lower caste and he stopped talking to me,” she said. “Three months ago, he got in touch and started demanding money. When I refused, he threatened to post my photos and videos on the Internet,” she said. Her family is conservative. Her father is a postman and mother a homemaker. Pooja was terrified to tell them. “But, somehow, I built the courage and told them. First, they were furious and blamed me,” she said. But then they surprised her. “After a few days, my mother expressed support. She helped me. Then, with my father, we decided to file a police complaint. Just to ensure that no other girl falls victim to him,” she said.
What happened to Pooja was a nightmarish experience, but support from her family was vital in ensuring she could pursue the case. More so, because police initially refused to accept the family’s complaint. “We went to the police station for three days, but the complaint was not taken. We were simply sent back claiming all police personnel and officers were busy with bandobast duty and had to attend other important cases,” she said.
Then the Pollachi scandal came to light and police, fearing media attention, finally took the complaint and arrested Raj. It was support from her family that made all the difference for Pooja. “Though, it was the toughest period for the whole family, they supported me. I think parents should start coming forward to help their children,” she said. Indeed, the Pollachi case came to light after the complainant, shared what had happened with her family which supported her.
While more and more, it seems like parents are coming forward to support their children in such cases, not all are able to. There still remain a large section of parents who, panicked by the Pollachi case and reports of similar cases, have started imposing restrictions on their children, especially daughters. Girls are told to stop meeting boys and are being given stricter curfews.
A city-based psychiatrist said, in one case, a 17-year-old Class 12 student was forced to discontinue her computer classes. “The girl even promised to give away her cell phones and asked her parents to drop her at the computer class themselves, but the parents are keen on sticking to their decision,” said the psychiatrist.
Unfortunately, such restrictions make the youngsters prone to depression and may even drive them to take extreme, unsafe steps. B Elayaraja, counselling psychologist said parents need to spend more time with their children. Parents should also learn to be alert to any changes in their children which may indicate they are being victimised in some way, he said. The victims may also fear confiding in their parents out of misplaced shame, especially if they are being threatened with videos or photos of them. It is for this reason that the state government introduced a facility by which a complaint can be filed online in 2015. In 2016, the first mobile app was launched by the state police department.
Since the launch of the facility, more than 3.6 lakh complaints have been filed online and 5,590 have been filed through the mobile app. “Most women prefer to file the complaint online, as they can avoid visiting a police station,” the officer said.
Meanwhile, to curb such gender-based violence, the police have also started approaching schools and colleges. “We have started visiting schools and colleges and addressing that stalking, for instance, is an offense. Previously, most of the youngsters remained silent when stalked because it was never taken seriously. We have passed out the particular police station numbers for them to call any time in times of distress. And we also ensure that action has been taken. We also tell the staff in the school to conduct programmes with the parents to create awareness on how to handle such situations instead of panicking and trying to hide the issue. Instead they can approach police stations for help,” said a senior police officer.