As Vrindavan widows are unwilling to shift to the sprawling new ‘home’ built for them by the government that is scheduled to be inaugurated on August 31, Sumi Sukanya Dutta finds out why officials are finding it hard to convince them to move in.
It’s three in the afternoon and a steady stream of women, mostly in their 50s, 60s and 70s, have started gathering in a large hall that will soon reverberate with heartfelt, even if not very melodious, bhajans that they sing to evoke their “ultimate lord”, Krishna.
But before they take their place in the hall, divided into two sections, they make sure to collect a token that will ensure them their daily quota of rice, pulse, `10 and, if a benevolent devotee has arrived at the ashram, a gift.
After tying the token carefully in their pallus, they take their seats in either of the two sections — ‘Hindustan’ or ‘Bengal’. For the widows of Vrindavan, this divide at the prayer hall is as sacred as their love for their Lord, as this means they only mingle with the ones who speak their language, Bengali or Hindi.
This is a typical afternoon at Balaji Ashram, one of the hundreds in the holy town where the widows — mostly from Bengal, Odisha and from Uttar Pradesh — discarded by their families, neglected and heartbroken or desolate after deaths of their near and dear ones, come to spend their remaining years as they walk into the sunset.
Some six kilometres from the ashram, a sprawling four-storey building with a capacity to house 1,000 such women is receiving frantic finishing touches as two VVIPs — Uttar Pradesh Chief Minister Yogi Adityanath and Union Women and Child Development (WCD) Minister Maneka Gandhi —will inaugurate it on August 31.
The home, Krishna Kutir, has been constructed by the National Buildings Constructions Corporation at Sonrakh Bangar at a cost of `57 crore, under a WCD Ministry scheme — Swadhar Greh for destitute women.
The two groups of widows at Balaji Ashram, meanwhile, despite their great dislike for each other, are unanimous and firm on one decision — that they are not moving to the “sarkari jail” that is being built “on the outskirts”.
“Some sarkari babus (government officials) had come here to convince us to move into the new home. But I said ‘no’ as soon as I heard it. It’s in Sonrakh and won’t allow us to come to Vrindavan whenever we want,” says Narmada Devi, a 65-year-old who has been living in the city that is landscaped with temples, small and big, at virtually every step, for the last 20 years.
Ronjita Vishwas, 62, who came to Vrindavan from Barasat, Kolkata, in 2005, says the new ‘big’ home is not for her. “I left home as after my husband’s death I felt stifled and restricted by my children. I don’t want to be guided by rules and regulations again. I live in a dingy room with two other inmates and pay for it, but I do not feel bad about it. At least, I am the master of my own will.”
Senior officials in the WCD Ministry said the construction of the home began in 2016 following a 2012 Supreme Court order directing the Centre and the state to “take all steps to rehabilitate the widows of Vrindavan so as to bring them to a stage where they can live with dignity”.
There are no official figures on the exact number of widows living in Vrindavan, but estimates say it’s somewhere between 2,500 and 3,000. “At present, there are five other government-run homes where widows live. But the idea was to create a single large unit where they can live in peace and get trained in skill development programmes so that they don’t have to indulge in activities like begging for sustenance,” a WCD Ministry official said.
A lot of effort has gone into the project, insists another official. However, the officials are now realising that the task of finding inmates for the massive swanky structure could be a bigger challenge. “We are publicising the home in a big way. Pamphlets, videos, audio messages are being circulated in the city inviting widows to register for the home,” says Sumati Mishra, general manager of Mahila Kalyan Nigam of the UP government, who is overseeing the project. “So far, we have registered about 50 women who are willing to stay there.”
Santosh Mishra, in-charge of Swadhar Mahila Ashray Sadan, run jointly by the Central and the state governments, admits that many widows are reluctant to “let go of the alms they receive in cash and kind at the temples and ashrams”.
“We visited some ashrams to convince the widows to shift to the new home. But the first question they ask is, ‘how much will I be paid if I stay there?’,” he says. “The long distance between the new home and the main town is also a deterrent.”
No wonder then that some of the widows who live at the Sadan are being sent to their villages to bring back widows who can be put up at the new home on the day of inauguration.
Jyotsana Rawal who runs an NGO, Jyotiprabha, in the town, is more sympathetic and compassionate towards the point of view of the “free-willed” widows. “Most of these women are discarded, ill-treated by their families and escape to Vrindavan to spend their final years with a degree of independence and feel they are in the service of God. Many may view it as begging. But for them, their days are spent serving and praying to their God and if benevolent devotees offer them clothes, money and other things, they see it as ‘prasad’, not alms,” says Rawal.
Old age-friendly
Special care has been taken to make Krishna Kutir old age-friendly, with facilities like ramp, lifts, supply of adequate electricity, water and other amenities to meet the requirements of senior citizens and persons with special challenges.
Kin welcome gifts they bring, but not widows
When the granddaughter of Promila Das (name changed), 72, was about to get married in Siliguri last year, seven of her family members came to Vrindavan to take Promila home. On her way back, the septuagenarian was all by herself and got injured while deboarding at Mathura station.
“Her kin came all the way here to take her home because Promila had amassed about `85,000, which meant a lot for the poor family,” recalled Santosh Mishra, in-charge of a government shelter home for widows, Swadhar Mahila Ashray Sadan.
For widows, who are either dumped at Vrindavan by their families or escape here, this is the way life is. Though they are “unwanted burden” for their families, hundreds of widows living in the holy town act as “earning members for their families”.
Sukhdevi, 70, from Agra has been living at the shelter home for the last four years. “I came to Vrindvan because I did not have a good relationship with my daughter-in-law, but I keep going back home. My grandchildren eagerly await my homecoming as I take back clothes, woollens, blanket, umbrella, utensils etc.,” she said. “In addition, there is often a substantial sum of money, too.”
Geeta Dixit, the warden at the Sadan, says the widows visit several ashrams and temples every day and collect cash up to Rs 300-Rs 500. “That is a lot, considering they get food for free and living is not expensive,” she said.
Dixit said when the widows visit their families, they carry gifts in several sacks. “It’s amusing and heartbreaking at the same time because these widows hoard all the gifts for their relatives as it gives them a sense of worth, but they invariably come back after giving back all they have accumulated,” she said.
Archana Godara, an NGO worker, points out that most widows are in touch with their families, but their savings are all that the families want. “Early this year, a widow at our ashram was hospitalised for a long time. We kept calling her family, but nobody turned up. After her death, her son-in-law came to collect her savings and the things she had left behind.”