“Marriage is for woman the commonest mode of livelihood, and the total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution.”—Bertrand Russell
Gender politics is dominated by sexual subversion. In most Islamic nations, a man’s honour and a family’s dignity is determined by the chastity of the woman. If a woman or a girl has sex outside marriage, it is deemed the traditional right of men to murder her—whether she is a beloved sister, daughter, wife or mother. In one of the most bizarre interpretations of chastity, a Saudi Arabian judge ordered 200 lashes and jailed a woman who was raped because she had sex with another man outside marriage. In Iran last October, 27-year-old Reyhaneh Jabbari was hanged for killing her attempted rapist. In the savage hinterland of khaap-dominated India, bizarre decrees banning girls from owning cellphones or wearing jeans are issued often. Couples who marry outside their caste are hanged from the nearest tree.
The sexual purity of the rapist is not an issue. Only the woman who is raped is sullied.
Tradition is the excuse that dictates mores. Differences exist between culturalogues on Vedic practices, education, language, literature, and culinary tastes, but the vote is unanimous on one thing—women are perennial sycophants of men, dangerous if they show independence of thought and spirit. In spite of the historical evidence available, from Mohenjo-daro to Ajanta and Ellora and classic erotic literature, unless a woman is subject to her husband’s will, she is an enemy of tradition.
Hence, is it any surprise that when Union Minister of State for Home Affairs Haribhai Parathibhai Chaudhary says that “the concept of marital rape, as understood internationally, cannot be suitably applied in the Indian context”, it is a defence of Indian cultural morality? Even if the harsh new rape laws enable a woman in a live-in situation or a consensual relationship to get her partner jailed for rape, a husband can get away with raping his wife. And it’s not just the BJP, the contemporary custodian of Indian culture, which feels so. In 2013, when the UPA was in power, a Parliament report said if marital rape was brought under the law, the entire family system would be under great stress. Doesn’t a murderer destroy a family? Don’t the bonded labourers of a feudal landowner deserve a happy family? Will not the December 16 gang-rape haunt Nirbahaya’s family forever?
Maybe the champions of Indian society should read the scriptures. According to the Rig Veda, “The wife and husband, being equal halves of one substance, are equal in every respect; therefore, both should join and take equal parts in all works, religious and secular.” The Atharva Veda says once a bride becomes part of a family, she should “rule there along with her husband, as a queen, over the other members of the family”. The ancient metaphysical concept of the Ardhanareeshwara celebrates the equality of gender as a divine law.
But mortal law says otherwise. The National Family Health Survey records that the perpetrators of most rapes in India are husbands—one in 10 women has been subjected to marital rape at least once. The United Nations Population Fund concludes that 75 per cent of married women in India have been victims of marital rape. It’s a telling comment that leaders with “modern” mindsets like Rahul Gandhi, Sonia Gandhi and champions of the oppressed like Mulayam Singh Yadav and Lalu Prasad have chosen to be silent on the issue.
Rape is the ugliest form of aggression, aimed at breaking the spirit of the victim and killing her soul. Aggression is the fuel of evolution, which later becomes a tool of domination, respecting nothing or nobody. When a government, even by omission, sanctions forcible physical, sexual assault, it goes against the basic tenet of civilisation. There is nothing called selective rape. If a society cannot hear the silent screams from the prison of toxic marriages, it is betraying its own conscience and cohesion. ravi@newindianexpress.com