Here's a list of essential money matters to discuss before marriage

We all know that marriages are made in heaven, but married life has to be lived on earth! A couple may fall in love or have an arranged marriage, but they surely meet before their marriage.
For representational purposes
For representational purposes

We all know that marriages are made in heaven, but married life has to be lived on earth! A couple may fall in love or have an arranged marriage, but they surely meet before their marriage. In the period between engagement and marriage, I really do not know what they talk about – I am assuming that ‘money’ is also important, so if you do not know, here is a list. In fact if you find it a sensitive topic, you should tag this article and make him/her read it. Here is a small list.

Spending habits: The chances are that the boy and the girl come from very different backgrounds, so it is better that they know what is ‘cheap’ and what is ‘expensive’. I know of guys who try to live on Rs 6,000 a month, and guys who can blow Rs. 6k in one evening. If for the girl eating out means an Udipi where they will run up a Rs 400 bill and for the guy it means a place where the starters cost Rs 500— that may not  be easy to handle, no? Using Credit: I know of couples where the girl is happy SAVING every rupee and the boy is happy to borrow for everything. 

This is about IMMEDIATE gratification and delayed gratification — talk about it. Come clean on your past: It is common and acceptable to have a student loan, a personal loan, a car loan and a housing loan. It would be very nice if both of you can see each other’s credit report – there is no worry of saying ‘Oh I forgot to tell you’ kind of debt. If a girl HAS to support her family she is better off  telling the guy she is to marry and MAKE sure that HIS parents know about it.

Have heard of cases where we had to break a girl’s salary so that she could send one to her parents and one to her in-laws. What assets do you need and how will you fund it: Car, house, washing machine, 2 wheeler, whatever! Will you buy today, on instalments or do you have enough money to buy outright? If you have to buy, can you ask some of your friends to pool and gift for your wedding? Any financial obligations from a previous marriage? Ask and get a clarification.

How much are you planning to spend on your wedding and honeymoon? How will you share the expenses? How much of the expenses will your parents bear? If you pay can you decide on how expensive the wedding will be? Talk it over. Be very, very careful about how you are going to share the expenses. It does not make sense to say “I will pay the housing EMI you pay the expenses” – this hurts in case of a divorce. Sorry, but being ready for the worst makes sense, right? Hey Guys think hard, a large number of marriages end in divorce.

In India the marriage laws are terribly anti-men- be careful. I know a couple who got married. The girl used to earn Rs 69,000 and save almost everything, except for her monthly pass. They guy used to earn Rs 69,000 and his mother would spend almost the whole thing on household expenses including travel, clothes, etc. HE was aged 31 at the time of the marriage and had ZERO  voluntary savings! He had no life insurance, medical insurance, NO, nothing. Are you the investing types, spending types or savings types? these three subsets are almost independent of each other, please be careful...Put a date on which you will change your surname, and when will you merge the accounts. There is no tearing hurry!

PV subramanyam writes at www.subramoney.com and has authored the best seller ‘Retire Rich - Invest C 40 a day’

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