How to become ultimate April Fool’s day champ

Looking to up the ante of your April Fool’s Day pranks? you need to focus on are the scale and duration of the pranks.

Dear Dr K,

With April Fool’s Day coming up, I wanted to ask if you have any suggestions or ideas on how to celebrate the day to its fullest? I’m tired of the old “your shoelaces are untied” or “there’s gullible written on the ceiling” routine. I need something fresh.

Rilf Oolap

Dear Rilf,

If you are looking to up the ante of your April Fool’s Day pranks, what you need to focus on are the scale and duration of the pranks. Anyone can pull off a prank that fools somebody for a second, but it’s the true champions who can make a prank last the entire day.

Simple ways to execute a day-long prank include getting all your friends to pretend that one student in your class is invisible and inaudible. If you carry out the prank convincingly enough, your classmate might start to believe that there is really something wrong with him. The problem with this kind of prank, however, is that it while it succeeds on the level of duration, it fails when it comes to scale. Over here, several people are pulling a prank on one person. What you need is one person pulling a prank on several people, over a sustained period of time.

How can you do this? Here is my suggestion:

Convince everyone that you have gone completely insane. The problem with trying to fool someone about something for an extended period of time is that when doubt gets the better of them, they are bound to ask someone who knows better, and realise that they are being fooled. Usually the solution for this is to get other people in on the joke, but convincing people that you have completely lost your marbles requires no support from anyone.

You will be evidence enough. To make it believable, however, you must appear completely normal at the start and become progressively crazier through the course of the day. Have spontaneous vocal outbursts of poetry in your mathematics class and then talk only in maths during your English class.

Start responding to any and all questions by singing Hindi film songs at first, and later respond by slapping. The slapping will obviously rile up a lot of people, so before they get the chance to slap you back, slap yourself.

This will convince people that you have truly lost it. Just when they start to sympathise with you, make your big reveal, shouting “April Fool!”, and go back to acting normal. However, you must make the revelation in front of everyone. This will cause you to be crowned April Fool’s Champion and your legend will be passed down for generations. That, or people will refuse to believe that it was a prank and remain so convinced that they continue to believe there is something wrong with you for many years afterwards.

Yours questionably,

Dr K

olfacto.boy@gmail.com

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