BENGALURU : The responsibility of being a mother, comes with the added pressure of being a ‘good mom’. A survey conducted by Mompresso, a user-generated content platform for women, has found some alarming trends about mothers in the city and the country at large. Out of 1,218 mothers surveyed throughout the country, 121 mothers are from the city. In Bengaluru, 21.8 per cent mothers are most stressed about their kids eating habits, 20.9 per cent find difficulty in disciplining them, and 16.4 per cent mothers say they have little control over the usage of internet and gadgets among their children.
Vishal Gupta, co-founder and CEO of Mompresso, says the children’s use of gadgets and screentime is a big stresser for mothers in Bengaluru. The perception of how ‘good’ a mom is, is also very closely associated with how healthy the children are, he adds. Rashmi Raj works as a creative writer and blogger, and is the mother of a 10-year-old boy. She says that it is a challenge to discipline and keep them away from junk food. “When we were younger, we did not mind being reprimanded, but now parents find it difficult to keep their kids disciplined.” She says she uses baits and trophies to keep the children away from eating junk food.
Unhappy Moms
At least 70 per cent of the total mothers surveyed say they are unhappy. Bogged down with the expectations of fulfilling the criteria of being a ‘good mom.The survey also revealed that 31.1 per cent of the total surveyed mothers are stressed about being a “good mom”. The key focus of the survey was on mothers in the metro cities. The survey shows that a mothers are more harsh when judging themselves as compared to the what their kids and husbands felt.
Interestingly, while 73 percent of mothers thought that they weren’t great at being mothers, they admitted that their children and their husbands would rate them as “great moms”. Around 56 percent of the mothers felt their children would consider them as “great moms” and 37 percent felt that their husbands would consider them as “great moms.” From the survey it is also understood that moms need more support at their workplace. Husbands are less supportive and less appreciative towards their better halves. It has also been noticed that the a father’s role is shrinking when it comes to disciplining the children according to the survey.
Matibi Bannerjee who works as a content manager says her own experience involved a lot of sacrifices. Over the years, she realised that this arrangement was not going to work. “It reduces you to be a hopeless creature. Since you devalue yourself so much, by the time you start realising this, you have nowhere to go. Your health is also neglected most often, and you even lose out on friends. It all boils down to becoming an unhappy person. It’s a cruel truth,” says Maitibi.