BENGALURU: Two issues related to women made headlines last fortnight. The first one was regarding a bunch of girl students wearing headscarves not being allowed to attend classes in Udupi and the second one was about Kerala’s Kumbalangi being declared as a ‘sanitary napkin-free village’. While the first one is about girls trying to obtain education under socially imposed restrictions, the other is where women in a rural community took a sturdy step towards aiding themselves.
Why these two incidents are significant, you may ask. The hijab incident had many liberal-thinking men saying that it should be abolished. This was vehemently opposed by men from the community practising it, who argued that while women elsewhere showcase things signifying their community, why is hijab being opposed? The debate is not showing signs of being resolved.
Every time such questions over women’s attire pop up, it is amusing to see men standing in the forefront, deliberating with all their might. I saw only one write-up over this issue, carefully composed by a hijab-wearing woman who was confused over being scolded, even beaten by her father who enforced the headscarf when she attained puberty. She said she has made her peace with the headgear as a married, working woman now. In another interesting post, a prominent writer narrated how he was disturbed to see his little sister’s education being discontinued due to religious restrictions and how he got her back to school (wearing a hijab) once he got a job. He said she went on to work for a bank and how both of her daughters work for institutions of international repute.
We can understand why it is important for men to defend certain practices. They spring from this urge to protect the present system, because it is convenient to the male-controlled arrangement. They rush to help, assuming they are facilitating women. They fail to notice that women’s voices are not being heard in the melee. These saviours are so normalised, they are everywhere around us — in our movies, comics, stories, television, news and even on our streets.
A friend asked me why women usually do not have an instant response to an incident. A woman’s expression is entirely different from that of a man. For centuries, our thoughts and opinions never mattered to the world. We are taught to respond only when asked. Oppressed communities across the world found their voice only when they decided to be heard — just like the women of Kumbalangi who took to menstrual cups once they understood they were healthy. We will decide what is best for us. It is just that on any given day, we have a thousand demons to fight and a limited choice of weapons in our arsenal. We do not need proxy combatants.
As I write, I am reminded that January 24 is National Girl Child Day. Rather than worrying about what they need to wear, we need to create a safe passage for our girl children.