BENGALURU: Have you been to a party with lots of people who are in relationships? When people get together in a group that kind of know each other, not really intimately, but with enough cross-connections with a few in the group to be generally comfortable around each other to be themselves, not needing to do anything to impress anybody, not even themselves, and just relaxed in their own skin, it is quite a different experience to, say, when you are taking someone you have just started to date to a happening party.
There is a certain vibe to such a group that’s just not easily replicable. People begin to relax, and get to know each other, maybe over a drink or two, and then conversation really starts to flow as people start bringing out anecdotes about one another, more connections are discovered and then, it really is a party. The music picks up tempo, and people start dancing to familiar songs, singing along, finding companionship in others who also vibe to the same song, and soon, people who just met an hour ago are singing away Mama Mia or Dum Maro Dum with gusto.
Then, someone shifts the playlist to a more recent song, and as if guiltily, each starts to groove to those songs as well, shyly at first and then with all the enthusiasm they can bring. Then, when the music shifts again, this time to mellower songs, somehow people drift to their partners. They may dance in each other’s arms, or just be around each other. The more tired one might sit and wave with the music while the more energetic one dances close by.
There is a certain kind of magic, a compass that people seem to have with which they negotiate spaces to find who they want to be with when the mellow times come, even if just ten minutes before that, they were belting it out with new friends. There’s a loveliness to the kind of love that finds each other for the quieter tune, the slower dance, the head on the shoulders moment, and often, that’s what one really seeks when one is looking for love and relationships - someone with whom you can have that last dance.
For people who aren’t in a relationship with anyone in particular at the moment, and yet, familiar with at least a few in such a group, it is often a quiet moment of joy to see people they care for be so connected. A few would feel especially lonely at such times, even if they might otherwise want someone for themselves, and might otherwise be looking to date.
The shared and interconnected love in a group of long term friends is healing. Community is special. The sense of connectedness, the feeling that you are loved by people who might be in love with each other, is special. We may not all find the love we wish for, but we can have a community of people with all kinds of love between themselves.