BENGALURU: Are you a taxpayer? If you think you are not, you are sorely mistaken. In a country like India, where hardly five per cent of the entire adult population file income tax returns or pay any income tax, you may not be paying any direct income tax, but that of course does not mean one does not pay taxes at all. We are all taxpayers, one way or another.
There are a dozen other taxes we pay, many of which are quite indirect. We all know that taxes are how the whole society runs and every societal good is paid for, and yet it is something most of us try and minimize for ourselves - we try and pay as little tax as possible, get every deduction and refund we can, and some of us even hire tax consultants who help us do just that.
What does all this have to do with love and relationships?
In our relationships, we often have to give back to governing bodies, a bit of the love and connection we want and get from our loved ones to keep things smooth and functioning well. Think of it this way: Do you invest time and energy in friends of your partner, or a partner’s parents, or activities of the partner, even though you may not particularly like it or want it for yourself?
Do you go to a music concert with your partner even though you cannot really tolerate big band music blaring through huge loudspeakers in a small, crowded bar, just to please your partner and win brownie points with their friends?
In a way, that’s the ongoing tax for the relationship. These taxes are supposed to be paid so that more common goods can emerge from it. If we pay the tax of trying and connecting with the partner’s friends and family, they are supposed to smoothen things out and pave the path for us to be better connected with each other, or at the very least, not be an obstacle to love.
The reasonable taxes of pitching in for a short weekend with a couple of their friends, going for a dance class together, or doing a diet that you don’t really have any interest in - all that are like taxes that help build the roads and bridges that your relationship needs.
The odd tax evader aside, most will pay where there is value. The challenge is if the taxes get too high or too unrealistic, or are not useful for us. Nobody will willingly pay income taxes to the government if we don’t get good roads, hospitals or infrastructure, would we? If the government raises taxes but doesn’t use them for social good, we would rebel.
In love too, if the taxes are too high or are not going to help you love and live better, of course, you are entitled to rebel, but - where these expectations are maybe 15-20 per cent of your time, and they give back a lot, why wouldn’t you want to pay those taxes honestly and with enthusiasm?