Want a 'Get Out of Hell Free' Card

Published: 23rd March 2016 04:45 AM  |   Last Updated: 23rd March 2016 04:45 AM   |  A+A-


CHENNAI: Kjeld Shreshth (yes, you read that right) is a Tamil stand-up comedian who is now settled in Bengaluru. Growing up in a conservative Catholic household, Kjeld had a brush with religion more often than he’d like. Excerpts from a ‘divine’ chat

First thing you’d say if god appears before you?

I would point to my face and then yell “Why God? Why? Why God!”

One thing you would ask god for?

I would ask god for ‘a get out of hell free’ card just in

case I screw up at some point of time in my life

What profession do you think god would take up if he was on earth?

God would be a comedian. And I think he’d be an observational comic, just standing there talking shit about his own creations and saying things like “OH-MY-SELF! Look at this guy! He looks so stupid! Who the hell gave YOU life?”

If god was a woman?

I’m pretty sure god is a woman, because she keeps telling people that only she can bring life into this world.

Three things you would do if you were god?

(a) Start my own religion because I want one too (b) Remove all the negative side effects of alcohol consumption and smoking (c) Abolish guilt about masturbation.

Your most godly encounter ever?

I once got really drunk on top of a church in Munnar on the side of a hill and when we got back down, I was suddenly overcome with this deep feeling of guilt of having desecrated a holy place. In my search for penance, I started to strip away my clothes and walk drunkenly into the woods, where I knelt down and begged god for forgiveness... But it soon dawned on me that I was kneeling down, butt-naked, in the woods, on the side of a hill. And that if a snake chose to bite me at that time, I would most definitely die. I immediately ran out and was lucky to find at least my boxers. God has a sense of humour and I don’t like it.

Funny thing in a place of worship?

I generally can’t remember because I’m sleeping there all the time... If I’m going to hell for the things I said here, hope some of you join me there to laugh. 

 (As told to Varun B Krishnan)

Stay up to date on all the latest Chennai news with The New Indian Express App. Download now


Disclaimer : We respect your thoughts and views! But we need to be judicious while moderating your comments. All the comments will be moderated by the editorial. Abstain from posting comments that are obscene, defamatory or inflammatory, and do not indulge in personal attacks. Try to avoid outside hyperlinks inside the comment. Help us delete comments that do not follow these guidelines.

The views expressed in comments published on are those of the comment writers alone. They do not represent the views or opinions of or its staff, nor do they represent the views or opinions of The New Indian Express Group, or any entity of, or affiliated with, The New Indian Express Group. reserves the right to take any or all comments down at any time.

flipboard facebook twitter whatsapp