CHENNAI: All of us are born with strong feelings of likes and dislikes. These feelings shape our personality from childhood itself. That’s why today we see new mothers making statements like — my child doesn’t like green colour, he gets irritated if he sees yellow dal, he doesn’t like his scout uniform etc. It will not be an exaggeration to say that one of the greatest cause of tension, burden and conflict in our life is the feeling of dislike for others.
There is a saying that ‘a person disliked is a person remembered’ which means that the feeling of dislike that recur in our mind is just a one way bad experience on our part. How many of us waste time pondering over other’s faults and mistakes? I am sure majority of us do it to such an extent that it reaches a level where we can’t sleep at night.
The question is, why do we allow ourselves to collapse into such an unwanted experience? Is it mandatory for us to dislike someone because they are wrong or perhaps because they are of a displeasing disposition? Why can’t we change our perspective in such a way that our inner reaction changes from negative to positive? For this, we need to wear the right kind of glasses that will enable us to maintain a positive vision for all.
By doing so we will be able to see good traits and positive virtues in others rather then their defects and weaknesses. Once we learn this technique of seeing just virtues in others, life will become easier on both the sides.
The technique is very simple, and it begins with self. If we reflect back over the years, we can easily make out that the periods in which we have been most unhappy with others were the times when we were dissatisfied from ourselves.
However, we may not have recognised that to be the case at the time, but in essence, it is similar to those moments when someone is in a ‘bad mood’ and at that time they are irritated by everything and nothing will please them.
Remember, when we are dissatisfied from within, then we will be dissatisfied with just about everyone and everything, without knowing the cause of this dissatisfaction that’s directly related to the perspective or vision we hold of ourself.
Hence, we must first begin by asking ourself, what is the perspective I have of myself or how do I see myself in the mirror? Because this is the proven fact by modern day psychologists that, people are generally unhappy with who they are, which means they do not like themselves. So, if we are not positive about ourself, then on what basis can we be positive about others? The only way out of this problem is to ensure that we have a positive vision of ourself first. So, like yourself in order to like others to develop new and desirable qualities within self.