CHENNAI: It is a universal truth that first love is not forgotten. But only a lucky few manage to hold on to it for life. From romantic proposals, opening up to families, to dream weddings — five childhood sweethearts share their love stories, about how their relationships stood the test of time and what the ‘happily ever after’ entails.
Rumours to reality
HE: Reuben Abraham Mathew, senior tax associate
Blessy and I met in class 3. She was my younger brother’s classmate. I used to go pick him up from his classroom and I would find Blessy (she was the monitor) writing my brother’s name on the board, for having talked too much in class. We remained on a hi-bye basis till class 10. That’s when we started playing in the school band. We started spending a lot of time together for practices and we became great friends. We realised that we had been talking to each other a lot and it was more than just friendship. But it was during the first year of college that we went official.
I didn’t know right then that this was the person I wanted to marry. But later, I was sure about my decision. I realised she had stuck with me through many low points in my life. Even while in the band, she tried to take the effort to connect with me. I suppose I interpreted it as she liking me. Nearly 10 years later, we got married. And it has been awesome. It is good because I found the right woman. It has been a huge learning too, learning to live with each other. You have to choose to love each other every single time. And it amazes me that she can love me so unconditionally. I am difficult to love and I find that my love is conditional. But it is not so with Blessy. Her love has been constant. I’m just trying to keep up.
HE: Sebastian Siron Mani, system administrator
When I met Babi by the computer lab, I did not think much about her. She was just someone pretty to look at. I reached out to her when I heard about all the talk around us. I had wanted to tell her off for the rumours her friends had managed to spread but it went in an entirely different direction. I liked talking to her and we kept up a certain level of friendship. It was she who broke it first and confessed her feelings for me. I held back; I didn’t want to jump into a new relationship after just having ended one. I did not want her to be my rebound. But she was more than just that; and I found myself falling for her too. I knew then that she would be the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. So I married her! Things have gotten better and more since — our love for each other, responsibilities too! We have even gotten better at cooking! We have learned to balance each other; where I fail, she steps up and I try to fill her falls too.
SHE: Angeline Babitha, process trainer
I met Sebastian in a very filmy way. We locked eyes as we walked past each other by the computer lab in college. I was in my first year and he had just started his Master’s. Appadiye kannum kannum nokia ayiduchu! Yet, we went our separate ways, in different relationships. But that did not stop our friends from pulling our leg, talking about us like we were a thing. He reached out to me just to clear the air about these rumours and small talk. That’s when we started talking and seemed to hit it off. This was in 2009. It has been a rollercoaster ride ever since. There was no denying the chemistry we had for each other, the pull. Yet, we stayed apart. After my relationship fell apart of its own accord, I reached out to him again and confessed my love for him.
He was not in a place to reciprocate. It was a couple of years later, when life had taken its course and we had started on our first jobs that he came back into my life. He’s been there ever since. From seeing each other everyday in college, we went to doing it long distance — I was in Nagercoil and he, in Chennai. Contrary to popular opinion, it was a beautiful phase that we got to experience. After a year of this, I moved to Chennai to be closer to him. It is not that we didn’t have our problems but we came back to each other despite the troubles. Marriage happened to be the next natural step. Funny thing is, we are back to having a long-distance relationship after the wedding. But he makes it easy. The comfort we have has made our marriage incredibly fun. We have managed to begin life on our terms. I hope we get to keep it that way.
Childhood and companionship
SHE: Blessy Prasad, journalist
I met Reuben way back in class 3. I got to see him all the time for we were in the same school. He would pass by my classroom and I used to think “Ah, he looks nice!”. But it was not till we got into the school band (I think in class 10) — he played the drums and I was singing — that we became good friends. The band played at every school event. So we had to practise every other day and we spent a lot of time together that way. Music kind of helped us bond. By the time we were in the last year of school, it felt like dating. But we blurted out that we like each other only when a friend of ours pushed us to admit it. When we got into the same college, it was official! We stuck with each other for 10 years before we got married.
We may have waited that long but I knew he was the one even before we had talked about our future or marriage. Since marriage, just two years ago, it has only gotten better. A lot of people talk about having had a great childhood and wanting to return to such happy times. I had a great childhood too but I would never want to go back for I would not have Reuben in my life then. He’s been there for me through everything, the way he has for everyone in his life. He’s completely selfless. And that is what I love about him. It’s common for people to do that — go out of their way — to impress each other in the beginning. But with Reuben, it has not changed even 12 years down the line. What more, he would do that for everybody — his friends, family and even strangers. What more could I ask for.
Love at first sight
HE: Gopi, entrepreneur
I saw her in the first week of college in the S Block of BITS, Pilani in 1988. A unique aura of grace and elegance surrounded her and it urged me to get to know her. I mustered up the courage, introduced myself and said “hi”. She reciprocated my greeting but didn’t give me her name. She was an extremely bright yet very quiet Punjabi girl from New Delhi. Throughout the first two semesters, she broke most assumptions I had about her personality. One of them was that her silence meant that she was shy. That’s what made me pursue her further. I had already told my friends that she was the one and insisted that they knew her as their ‘bhabhi’.
She hadn’t shown me too much interest, but my efforts continued. One day I finally asked her to go for a movie screening with me, on campus. She agreed. I excitedly went to pick her up from the girls’ hostel only to see that she came with two of her friends. It washed away a bit of my excitement because I had thought of it as a date, but we watched the movie anyway. By the end of the second semester, we had begun hanging out together. Just before the vacations began, she noticed that her grades had slipped. She wanted to fix it and asked me not to pick her up from her hostel anymore. It upset me that she bypassed me with studies as an excuse.
I still persisted in meeting her a few times. But, during the holidays, she began sending me hand-sketched cards with little notes on them telling me that she was remembering me. It was enough to restore any hope I had lost. By the time the third semester began, our relationship strengthened. We knew we liked each other. We graduated in ‘91. I pushed for placement in New Delhi, so that I could convince her parents of my intention to marry her. It took me five years and by ‘95 I was successful. We got married and have been together ever since. Every time someone asks me about our story, I say that I have loved her for 32 years while she has loved me for 31. It took me a year to win her over.
SHE: Ritu, entrepreneur
Even though I had studied in co-ed institutions all my life when Gopi came up to me and said “hi”, I admired his confidence. At first, I didn’t pay much heed to his advances. My primary aim was to do what I did best and study, and my focus seldom shifted from that. I didn’t feel any loss when I told him not to meet me anymore, but during the vacations, I found myself constantly missing his presence. That’s when I decided to send him letters via slow post. I was in New Delhi and he was in Chennai. Even in the later years of our relationship, we never let distance come between us. My parents accepted him when they got to know that he really loved me.
Ever since it’s release in 1981, I was crazy about the movie Ek Duuje Ke Liye and would paint different versions of its poster. It portrayed a Tamil hero and a Punjabi heroine who fall in love. Like pieces of a puzzle falling perfectly in place, our lives followed a similar storyline, except we ended up happily together. I was also keen on getting married into a joint family. Marrying Gopi upheld that wish of mine too. Above all else, I felt completely at peace when I was with him. I still do.
Commitment is serious business
HE: Shashank Ravi, senior research associate
I was just recovering from a breakup and needed some diversion. I decided to get connected with school friends from DAV on Facebook and that’s how I happened to find Renuka on the list. We clicked from day one and shared a good sense of humour. I met her in person for the first time at a Cafe Coffee Day. She kept pulling my leg by calling me a serious person and why I didn’t get her anything, considering it was our first meeting. Things progressed smoothly; she ticked all the boxes. I proposed to her twice but she thought it was a prank both times.
That did not bog me down. Our friendship continued and I did not distance myself from her. She realised it soon enough and accepted my love. I had to move abroad for studies a few years into dating. We were miles apart but the distance never mattered. We’d kept each other updated on our daily whereabouts and trusted each other. We had tiffs every day but Renuka made it a point to resolve every issue then and there, while I approached things differently by resorting to silence — that was something I love and hate about her. If the relationship has sustained this far, I owe it to Renuka. Now, we’re enjoying the simple pleasures of staying together, planning impromptu trips and sharing a meal, after marriage. I find it silly at times when someone asks what it takes for a relationship to stand the test of time. Each has its challenges. Whether you’re old school or modern, everything boils down to how much you value the commitment.
SHE: Renuka Rukmani, senior business analyst
It all started with a surprise friend request on Facebook. Shashank and I studied in DAV school. We didn’t know each other then. He sent a message during the final year of college. Having more common friends made it easier for us to meet often and bond. Just when we started dating, he moved abroad for higher education. While there are umpteen ways for things to go wrong when we face each other every day, imagine how much worse it can be during the early days of online chatting. We had a long distance relationship for seven years.
I’m emotionally sensitive, while he’s more calm and composed. It required extra effort because of the time zone and his nature of work. But we took our commitment seriously. I used to gather a bunch of things he likes and courier them to him on special occasions. Smallest things like emotional support and sacrificing sleep for each other meant a lot to both of us. We finally got married in 2017 and there’s no looking back. It wasn’t a filmy proposal. We did it the traditional and conventional way. Things have taken a beautiful turn after our Mithila was born 10 months ago. Romance bloomed, life is happier.
The grand proposal
HE: Jayanth Kashyap, impact investor
I’d transferred to Preethi’s school in the class 11, we almost immediately clicked as friends. For being completely contradictory characters, our connection was a very comfortable evolution into a relationship by the end of college. The first year of college was a very interesting period of courtship for me. I was an ambivert, while Preethi was a woman of the people. She had this remarkable character that whenever we entered a room or a party, the energy would build towards her. She was also the most sensitive and empathetic person I’d met.
I know that people say that they wouldn’t hurt a fly, but she literally wouldn’t. Initially, I wasn’t quite sure about how to label this friendship. But just spending time talking to her, I knew that I was ready to fully commit. Preethi spoke about marriage daily, and I’m no hopeless romantic like her, but I wanted to surprise her with this extraordinary proposal and ring. Here’s the thing — I think diamonds are a conspiracy theory so I decided to get a customised gold ring from Bengaluru. It’s been a year and a half since our big fat Indian wedding, and I still find our story to be quite amusing actually. Indeed, I’m very grateful to have met and married my best friend.
SHE: Preethi Nedumaran, actor/costume designer
Jayanth often tells me that his first impression of me in school was that I was an ‘arrogant cool kid’ who only spoke to him because he danced well. Of course, I don’t remember anything like that. Even before we’d begun dating, we shared a solid friendship and I have a vague recollection of someone telling us that we were eventually going to end up together.
We laughed about it then but little did we know. I knew Jayanth wasn’t a hopeless romantic, but I never thought the proposal would catch me so off guard. While on a trip with friends to Kerala, one night, there were candles and flowers everywhere, a John Denver song in the background, and there he was, holding a beautiful gold ring. I still hold it against him that he didn’t get down on one knee though. Over time, the key has been to never take our relationship for granted. Yes, you eventually run out of ideas to make each other feel special, but we make sure to preserve some of that old-school love. I leave him little notes when I’ve got to go away for work, and Jayanth surprises me with food that I love. We might be completely different people but, even after all this time, we always see the same way.