CHENNAI: Why? The singular question, interwoven with our very existence. Following us through life, like a shadow at sunset. Making its appearance around the time we eat our first lollipop. “Why can’t I eat it?”, “Why can’t grasshoppers have eyebrows?”, “Why can’t they make vegetables yummy?” childhood’s never-ending Whys. Fortunately, biology makes sure we grow up. Soon, the curious Whys are replaced by the fiery ones, as we reach that stage when our hormones work overtime.
Many a college campus sees raging Whys being hurled at anything that remotely resembles authority. Imagined repression becomes the foundation for target practice with Weapon Why. It, most often, is the anthem for those rebellious, youthful years. It’s amazing how the years mellow even the fiercest among us. All those Whys then reside in some deep recess within our being, murmuring at appropriate intervals...a gentle reminder of compromises we regret.
In an artist’s life, the Why takes on varied forms. The artist is known to mould every passing thing, you see. The Why drama starts when one realises that art is one’s calling. The intensity of the drama depends on age, gender and family history. In case you wonder if you have accidentally stumbled upon a matrimonial column with a fancy art title, let me explain. If wisdom and luck favour you at a tender age to recognise your calling, and you are brave enough to battle the onslaught of Whys, refusing to sign up for the competitive exam marathon, then probably, the Whys from family become meeker.
Women, however, rarely face relentlessly persistent Whys. Marriage to that NRI software engineer being the ultimate goal for the family, perhaps a degree in Arts would add to the ‘homely girl’ appeal. Finally, about the family history factor. A lot depends on the career paths of everyone who vaguely fits under your ancestral umbrella. In the absence of a creative genius in one’s brood, be assured that the entire dynasty will surround you with Whys that hit you from every possible/impossible direction, until you either succumb or emerge victorious, ready to follow your dream, leaving behind a Why-War weary ménage.
It doesn’t end there. Every step of the way, you would watch others tick all the pre-set aspirations of a car, a house, that foreign holiday with enough snapshots for Instagram, while constantly being asked the exasperating Why. ‘Why can’t you get a real job? ‘. At some point, the financial uncertainty of a career that can never promise a regular income, coupled with the lack of understanding from society, can make the Why swell from within you. Why am I doing this??
Until that moment, when you create something that moves someone, starts off a thought process in another, that which you know will live on, long after you’ve gone, that moment is when every Why you have encountered in your journey is silenced forever. Your purpose couldn’t be clearer, RIP Why.
At least, we don’t take you to our graves.
Jitha Karthikeyan
Email: jithakarthikeyan2@gmail.com
(Jitha Karthikeyan is an artist and curator, passionate about making art accessible to the larger public)