CHENNAI: The audience listened attentively and broke into applause every time Malvika Iyer shared wisdom from her lived experience. The bilateral amputee and self-detonated bomb blast ‘survivor’, as she calls herself, described the tragedy that struck her at the age of 13 as a ‘poetic accident’. “I had multiple fractures, nerve paralysis and hypoesthesia, at least 13 surgeries… the list can go on. But I believe that grief and suffering cease when meaning can be found from them.” She was speaking to a captivated audience at the 10th edition of TNIE's ThinkEdu Conclave.
There was no end to the positivity that radiated off Malvika, who revealed that she inherited the attitude from her mother. Right after the accident, my mother said, “I just need her alive. I will decide after that what to do next for my daughter. There were no complaints, she was problem-solving at each step. Imagine my mother who was in her mid 30s having to become my roommate for almost two decades. From my Master's to MPhil and PhD years, she spent them all with me, even moving to Delhi when I was at St Stephens.”
But it’s not all light and joy, Malvika said while sharing that she had bad days too. “My legs hurt often. I also had PTSD from my accident and ordeal, where I was numb but could see everything that was going on around me in the hospital.”
Malvika shared that she was afraid if she could continue to excel at kathak and the other extracurricular activities she was skilled at but post the accident, she found she had developed new skills.
“I learnt I had different skills now like speaking and writing. I discover new things daily, life is an adventure. I recently cooked paneer curry — I did everything from chopping to gravy-making!" she exclaimed in joy. Accepting her new body and different hands is what it took, Malvika added.
Malvika divulged that she wasn’t great at academics prior to the mishap. "I had iron rods drilled inside me as external fixators. I didn't get up for eighteen months. Every part of my body experienced pain. When I returned to Chennai from Rajasthan, I was made to walk. Then I wrote my Class X Board exams with just three months of prep. I had to fix a pen to my arm and write in big font. It was a series of new challenges, but I knew I just didn't want to be in bed."
Malvika persevered and went on to get a percentage of 97 in the exams. She shared that 26 May 2002, a date she marks every year with celebration, was a rebirth for her.
Throwing light on the discrimination persons with disabilities face from family and society, Malvika said that people had asked her if her husband was disabled as well.
“Why do people think this way? As a disabled woman, it’s like a double disadvantage for me,” she voiced.
She shared that her husband treated her as a regular person and not with pity. A simple, respectful life as an equal is what disabled folk seek, Malvika said.
The journey to becoming an internationally-known speaker was not overnight. Malvika described how she used to hide herself in layers of clothes to ‘hide’ her disability and tried to push herself to walk and write faster to match her able-bodied friends until transformation happened.
"10 years ago, I delivered my first TedX talk. My mother told me to offer hope from my lived experiences. I did just that and became vocal. I even spoke at the UN headquarters in New York." Today, she says, she enjoys speaking, which she finds therapeutic.
Her parting lines on healing serve to inspire everyone looking to develop a growth mindset. "Healing takes time. It took a decade and more for me. Giving up was never an option on the table for me. I take a project and I attempt it and give it my best shot. Your efforts matter more than the achievements."